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     Andi was shocked at how her intuition was dead on about her best friend. "I didn't want to yell you this because of what it could do to our friendship." Crystal assured her. "I promise this secret won't ever leave my lips." Andi placed her hand over her heart and made an oath. "Actually, you and Pastor Rich are the only ones who know." Crystal then changed into her uniform. Andi was impressed.  "Nice. The hooded cloak really pulls it together." 

     It wouldn't be long until Uncle David would be home. He just texted Crystal to let her know he was coming home. The two finished their homework and Andi went home where her mom was waiting. For Crystal, having someone who knows her secret was a relief. It was getting too much for her to keep this to herself. She went up to her room and did some work on a painting before turning in to bed. Sweet dreams would follow that night. Under stress she tended to have nightmares.

      Again the dreams came. The man burned at the stake, those around him gloating. After being reduced to ashes, a woman comes over to collect the remains and finds an object. Something shiny, unscathed by the flames. This time Crystal had a better look. It looked like the necklace her mom wore. She always said this was an heirloom in her family. She slips it into a hidden pocket.

     School was no better the next day. The kids who still wanted nothing to do with her shot glares her way when she passed by, but nothing else. Nothing spectacular like a full on demonic manifestation in English class or anything strange. Just an ordinary day, well almost in her case.



I know I am new to this website and pray nothing I say is out of line.  I hope you all enjoy this blog and feel free to contact me with any question/comments!  -Josh


So here's the deal, I did a whole new Vlog on spanking your children.  I stayed up late to make sure the blog got posted and for some reason the blog won't post.  Now as I am sure you all guessed this is frustrating as it takes a lot of work to create these and for it not to post is just frustrating.

That being said I realize that there must be a reason why it won't post.  As I sat here getting mad at my computer and started yelling (anger issues I know are a sin) I was thinking about my faith.  I know I run this website and have published a book, but my faith is something I struggle with from time to time.

I never struggle with who God is, or what was done for me on the cross.  What I struggle with is that feeling God isn't listening to anything I pray about.  I have prayed for so long for God to move in my life.  I have wanted to realize all my dreams.  I want to see myself up on stages speaking, sitting down with couples about to get married discussing what marriage is, I want to see souls coming to know Jesus, I want to have a descent truck and live in my own house.  I want my kids to be able to go to the best schools, I want to be able to pay all my bills without being broke.  I want to be able to not have to worry about money, health, or problems within  my own family.

As I look at this list I constantly think this isn't too much to ask for.  I mean I am praying to the same God that created everything we know.  Jesus came to this world died on the cross that we may live forever.  What I am asking is child's play for this God.  He rescued his people from Egypt, He parted the sea, He was with David when he killed Goliath.  He is the same God that gave Abraham children at 100 years old.  He turned water to wine, gave the blind sight, conquered the grave, why then is He not compelled to do what I ask?

In Matthew 21:22 Jesus tells us if we ask we will receive.  Why then have I not received?  I believe this is a question that turns a lot of people away.  Jesus tells us if we ask we will get, yet I.....whatever your story had you ask for, you didn't receive the  way you thought you would have.  This question is hard to say the least.

There are two parts to this question that need to be addressed.  The first is God is God.  He owes us nothing.  He doesn't owe any of us an explanation to why he does or doesn't do things.  He alone is God and deserves our love and worship due to that fact alone.  If our faith is based upon what we get out of the deal, then we have lost sight of the fact that God is the God of most high.  He is completely sovereign, He did not need us to create the universe and He will be here after we are gone.  He was here before, is here now, and will be here after. 

The second part goes along with time.  God is past, present and future.  He alone knows what tomorrow holds.  He knows the desires of our hearts and knows why we pray for what we do.  He knows the selfish reasons why we want to be rich, powerful, or famous.  He knows what we would do with all the things He wants to give us.  He also knows when the time is right to unleash all the power of heaven to His children.  He may be molding you into a vessel to use whatever blessing He has decided to give you.

He may be working out all the kinks.  As for me I know that if I had not walked through what I have in life, I wouldn't have the heart to help as I do now.  If I would have never been on the bottom, I would never have known what it felt like.  I would never have had the compassion to reach out and aid people in all their struggles.  If I would have gotten everything I prayed for, I wouldn't even know who God was.  I would be the most self-absorbed person on this planet.  God knew that.  He knew what I would need to be equipped with to do His work.  I have had a calling on my life since I could remember, but I did not have the tools to accomplish what His calling was.

God has used my past ( as bad as it was) to be able to have a voice to help others.  In Romans 8:28 the Bible tells us ALL things work for good for those who love Him and are called for His purposes.  Not some things, not just those people who are sparkling clean, but ALL things.  How come then I haven't been given the chance to....whatever it is you are waiting for?  Where is your faith?  Just because God didn't work the way you thought He should have does that mean He isn't working?  Do you know the people that are being moved around right now?  Did you know that the company you are about to go work for just got a new boss?  This boss is a strong believer and is going to make sure his employees don't work on Sunday.  This guy is going to make sure you have every opportunity to move up, make more money, and be able to give to missions at church.  We can't see what is going on and our faith is starting to be challenged. 

What is this faith thing anyway?  Faith is the tool we use to connect with God.  Faith is belief in something we can't hear, see, touch, smell, or taste.  Faith is what saved you.  Your faith through God's grace is what wrote your name in the book of life.  God operates in faith.  He uses our struggles and trials to expand our faith.  When you walk through the fire, you may not know it at the time, but God is why you didn't get burned.  It may have hurt and felt like it would never end, but fire refines the gold!

When your faith is tested, it gets stronger.  When you know that no matter what you walk through God will always be there, you know there is nothing impossible for the creator of the universe.  God may not do anything the way we want Him to, but He will do everything perfectly.  He knows what is best.  He knows when the time is right, and He knows what our heart feels.  The bottom line is, it is normal to struggle, but faith in God is the tool you use to climb through the struggle.  When God is for us, what can be against us? (Romans 8:31)

Brother or sister I know sometimes it gets to be more than you think you can bear.  I am sure while Jesus was taking a beating for OUR sin He had similar thoughts.  Just know that God is still God and deserves our worship for that fact alone.  He has not forgot you and never will.  Jesus was thinking about you while He was dying, for us to live.  He didn't forget you then and knows you now.  Hang on stay in the fight and allow God's glory to shine through!!!  The best word of encouragement I can give you is found in Psalm 46:10 and it sums everything that I have just written;

“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!” 




     Dinner was all about Uncle David giving his two cents about the day's news. And when he got to the "vigilante", his hothead temper was boiling. "We have every right to know who this person is!" 

      People were talking and Daniel was worried about his charge getting puffed up with pride. Crystal was drinking it in discreetly and was starting to be get careless in her battles. Possibly it was the fact that only her pastor knew this dual life she was living. Pride goes before a fall. He knew that all too well.

      Crystal was apprehensive by carrying this burden alone she felt. She began to consider revealing this to her closest friend. From the start of all this she wanted to. The hardest part wasn't that, but a matter of trust between them. The answer would come Sunday morning.

      Pastor Rich's sermon was about having a burden and how we were not meant to carry our issues alone. How burdens are meant to be shared with one another. This rang true to Crystal. It made her really think about it.

       Deep down she had to the right thing. Her and Andi were the best of friends and she didn't want that to change. Her worst fear was that their friendship would change for the worse. Or even the enemy would harm those she loved. That's why Crystal kept this side job to herself. "I am reading too many comic books" she rationalized and decided with Daniel's help, to finally reveal this to her best friend. She would do this while the two had a study session the next day.  

      Uncle David was working an extra shift at the shop. Aunt Marty had to take over for a friend who at the last minute, had to take over a Bible study at church. So this was a perfect opportunity to tell her. They had a English assignment to work on and plenty of leftovers for dinner, that would help Crystal break the news.

      After enjoying some of Saturday's Brunswick stew with a salad and raspberry pound cake for dessert, the hardest part came. In between diagramming sentences the topic of the "vigilante" roaming the city came up. "Who do you think he or she is?" Crystal asked Andi. Without a beat she says that it was best friend. 

      Crystal was flabbergasted by the answer. "This is how I know." Andi began to. "I have seen you climb out the window a few times. And I at least want to know what in the world is going on. Is this why you are so elusive?" Andi had a tendency to ramble on.

       She finally shut up and let her best friend speak. Crystal began to tell Andi about the strange events that began the day they encountered Mr. Jackson that August day. About the angel and the first day of school in the cafeteria. When asked about what the demon looked like, Crystal ran up to her room to grab a pencil and notebook. She sketched one from memory as she could do it.

       Daniel then shows himself to the friends. Andi was smitten by how good looking he was. He was allowed to reveal things. Afterwards, Andi was still a little confused. "Wait, there is some kind of international spiritual warfare black ops group here?". After a moment, he tells her, "What a way of putting it. Why yes, that is the closest anyone ever described what the Order does". 


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     The next few days were exciting. The art show at school helped raise a lot of money for the local recreation center. A local business bought one of her works to hang in their lobby. Crystal was even offered a sizable amount to do a mural. But had to turn it down because of her schedule. Still, she got some recognition.

     In the night, she scoped the city from the clock tower and letting the Spirit lead her to where she's needed. There was an older lady that was being accosted by a gang with fakes mixed in (fakes or fakies is the name of demons in the short term physical form), in an alley way on the other side of the city.

      She got there as they cornered the cane wielding lady. Blows landed but did little to slow them. Crystal slips up behind one of the gang. "Hey, pick on someone who can actually fight back!" And with that, the chaos ensues. Daniel helps the lady out of danger's way by slipping her out of sight in the shadow of a doorway. 

      They circled her, hoping for a swift victory. Cursing and spitting with their sinister grins, plus chains and bats as back up, it began.  Just a brief glimpse of the eyes confirmed her instincts: fakies were mixed with this particular gang. Fakies' eyes are a blood red with an impression of looking into an abyss. 

     It took less than five minutes and it was over. A good workout and the real humans who were left standing ran off. Those left were unconscious by her blade which she named Midnight Sun. The fakies were banished to another plane but can come back.

      Soon the newspaper would speak of a "vigilante", or a guardian angel of the city. Turns out the elderly lady was a relative of the mayor. And the gang members' memory was foggy. All they recall was getting whipped by a hooded woman with a sword. The outfit Crystal wore made her look older to throw off anyone seeking the identities of those in the Order.


"Journal Entry for 10/19"

     "Today I hear at school about what happened to the mayor's mother. How a hero came to save her. I am so tempted to revel in the limelight. But then doing that I risk exposing the Order to the world and defeating it's purpose. Maybe just knowing I did something to help another person is reward enough." Crystal puts down the pen and closes her diary as Aunt Marty calls her for dinner. She had a stack of journals in her closet from around 10. Very therapeutic to help sort her feelings after Mom, Dad and Stephen died. 


     The park was full of young kids and parents, so this was going to be difficult to pull off without some attention being drawn. But this ignorant little demon all buffed up with pride began to run his mouth. Through the person it chose to inhabit, the voice that came out didn't quite match the actual person. 

      Crystal swore she saw the smoke coming out and smell brimstone.  Worse than anything she ever smelled.  "How's the celestial gig Daniel?" It asked, seeming to have known Daniel. He stood there with a stone look on his face. "Very well, preparing for our Lord's return. Wish I could ask the same Gadmadrin, but I would not be truthful." His voice was in a flat tone used when he got serious.

       Then things got strange. This demon whipped out a scroll sealed with a strange emblem that screamed bad news. "I was sent to hand this to you. Concerning her." At the last word, it spat in her direction, good thing she jumped back, for when the spit hit the ground, it fizzled like acid. Daniel opened the missive and began to read. 

     Crystal managed to get a glimpse of what was written, but all she saw were strange symbols. Apparently this was some kind of language these beings used. A pentagram was at the top, indicating this was from the Devil's domain. No explanation needed there. 

     Before he could make a move, Daniel and Crystal were surrounded by some of the cronies that had been watching from the shadows. The people who were at the park barely looked up or even reacted. The attack was swift and sudden.

     Crystal was able to switch into battle mode (as she has come to call it when the battles come) and was able to dispatch those demons in a fake human form. In the few weeks she's been training, the enemy has been able to develop a temporary physical form without occupying a vessel. Possession was still the best way to attack, but there was reluctance most of the time. 

     Within less than five minutes, the fakes were all on the ground, turning into a vapor smelling like sulfur. Daniel took care of the spirits in their natural form. The fakes had one common trait: their eyes. They glow red in times of stress. Looking into them was like staring into a abyss.

     From the shadows Crystal watched as people waved the air trying to fan away the smell.  

     She notices Daniel's face and asks about the exchange with that demon. He tells her that a long time ago, they were best of friends. Then Gadmadrin went over to the other side. Crystal could tell it pained him just thinking about it. Losing a friend like that she couldn't even comprehend. 




How to overcome unforgiveness and other sins

(I am assuming that the one reading this has accepted Jesus Christ as there Lord and Savior, If one has not that is the first place to start)

I find some people have been hurt by others and they do not want to forgive. The person has been hurt so bad they do not want to forgive the one who hurt them. They feel that some type of revenge or to see justice to that person. The thing they fail to see is the damage it causes them by hanging on to the unforgivness.

We need to remember something.:

Romans 3:11 There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.


John 6:44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

The fact that anyone got saved was because God came into our lives and drew us. God drew us to Him and we answered the call. In order to get saved we needed God working in our lives before we could come to Him. The thing is we need Him in our lives to also help us get rid of sins.

We also need to forgive others because Jesus forgave us.

We also need to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. We all know the big difference between ‘I will not' and ‘I can't'. I do understand that some people are very honest when they say ‘I want to forgive and I just can't.' It is very possible that this may be true as far as having the ability to forgive. But it is possible....

Now after explaining all of this I will show you how to get free and to be able to forgive.

1 Tell God the truth on exactly how you feel. If you deep down do not want to forgive the person then tell Him that to. Be totally honest to Him and tell Him why you feel the way you do.

2 Remember forgiveness is a choice and not so much to do with the feelings. You tell God you choose to forgive that person even thought you might not feel like it

3 Now tell God once you forgave them that you need God to come you heart and heal the feelings and help you to have a real forgiving heart. Remember we could not come to God unless He helped us first. It is the same with forgiveness; once we allow Him to come in us He can begin to change our feelings.

Here would be how you pray.

Say " Father I give you all the Glory and thank you for sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. I now have unforgiveness in my heart to ____________ and I do not want to forgive them for hurting me. I now choose to forgive them because Jesus forgave me. Now I need your help to come in my heart and change my feelings so that I can learn to love and forgive the one who offended me. I cannot do it on my own and I need your help. Now I thank you that you have heard me and now will begin to come in my heart and change me. I give you all the praise in Jesus name amen."

Now once you have allowed God to help you with your feelings it may take some time but when we choose to allow Him in again then he can get to work in helping us.

This mindset and prayer is a good way to pray to help to get rib of all things we may be struggling with.

Feel free to leave a comment; this way I know that I explained this well enough.


     I apologize for being away for so long! We (me, my brother and his two adopted boys) have moved! Still in Salisbury, but on the edge of the city limits. I still haven't forgotten my followers here on mypraize! Putting up new chapters in between moving and school is exhausting. But now with that done, I can continue churning out material. Right now I am laying out ideas for the follow up to Order of Christos #1. I prefer to start at the beginning and building up from there. And yes I do have an idea for book 3 and it came from an unexpected source, but that's for another time.

      On a deep and personal note, for those who have read my bio here, I have struggled with so much in my 35 plus years.  Hence part of where my handle came from. At my age, it's a wonder I'm still alive. Since my mother was placed in a home in late 2012, things have been less difficult for me. In the last almost year and a half I've been with my brother, I have never felt more stable in my life. Personally and mentally. My health has never been better. I've been off my diabetes meds for almost a year, lost weight (under 200lbs), and pursuing an college education at last. 

     I feel I am at a place where God can really start dealing with me about certain issues stemming from my past. I still have periods of depression but nothing serious. Anger, resentments against people who hurt me and God has been starting to deal with me about forgiving those who deeply wounded me throughout my life. One person in particular who died 15 years ago. Betrayal is expected from your enemies, but when it comes from your own family, that really screws you up on every level. Body (sometimes, especially with physical or sexual abuse), soul, and spirit.

       Also, it seems I have an admirer at the community  college I attend. Met him on the bus and we're friends. Even referred him to my brother to get his taxes done. He runs a sweepstakes place and a tax office. It's tax season and I work there twice a week. Labeling files, greeting clients, things like that. 

      But me and this gentleman are just friends. Though I like it when calls me the most beautiful woman in the world. But I just can't pursue a romance at this time if I wanted to. That's just one of the issues stemming from what I endured as a kid. Though I would like to marry someday.  I have a friend (13 years older than me) believed she was called to be single and 6 years ago she got married. Maybe I may be blessed like that. 

Hope to hear from all of you soon! Shalom and God bless, Wonder777!  




    There is a lot of complaining about the weather this year. I know we folks with a touch or two of arthritis tend to want our warm weather so we don't hurt as bad, but we are forgetting the big picture here. So sit back in your chair, your bed, your couch, where ever you are and close your eyes a moment going back in time a little over 2000 years ago. Jesus was not born in December, he was born in early spring, sometime in March. So picture this: Let's say we live in that time and in that place put yourself there. You're living in a mud hut with thick cool walls. During the winter months you have to take rags and place them over the windows to keep the wind and cold out. You have an inside fireplace that doubles as a cook stove and heater. It's tax time and census time- all the public facilities are full so some of the local people are allowing out of towner's to rent space from them. Late that night this young couple comes into town with a pack mule carrying a young pregnant female guided by a weary young man. He stops at inn after inn only to find they are all full. He even stops at some of his kin folks houses to find them full. He was almost out of options and saw one last house. He stopped there to find a kindly old innkeeper who offered him room in his stable for no charge. He gave them blankets and pallets to lay on and an oil lamp to help them see. As they got settled in Joseph said to Mary, "It's snowing, yet I can see the stars." Mary told Joseph it must be a sign. They laid down to rest and as they nodded off to sleep, an angel came to Mary and told her that it was time for her to deliver. Mary said to the Angel. "Here? Now? In THIS place?" The angels told her that God had brought them to Bethlehem for a reason that they would find the answers out later. As Mary began feeling the urges of Labor she awoke Joseph who ran out to find someone to help his wife. Soon they held their newborn son in their arms and the Angels were sent out to proclaim to the world the birth of God's son. Mary and Joseph rested with Jesus as much as they could during the night and day. The skies were perfectly clear, all the stars were extra radiant that night. It was as if God had his angels working double time polishing them in the heavens before his son was born. All of the sudden in the eastern sky appeared this new huge bright shining star that appeared to be coming from right over where Jesus laid.

So why am I telling the Christmas story in February? It's the snow. The snow represents purity. It snowed that night to purify the sky and the earth for the coming of the new King. Stop and think to yourself what the arrival of the Christ child was. God sent HIS only son to earth and He took OUR sins upon his shoulder and died for us. When I look at the snow, I see it as a reminder of the birth of a King. Not an ordinary King, but a King who changed the world and the WORD. We should see the snow today as a reminder of God's way to purify the air, to keep us inside with our family, make us slow down and spend family time together. In these days and times family time is practically non-existent. Yes, there is still the TV, internet, gaming devices, etc. But a parent should take charge and say everyone, let's do something different. Go outside and build a fire and roast hot dogs, make smores, hot chocolate, snow angels, snow forts, have a friendly snow ball fight. OR, play board games inside that have the entire family playing. Better yet, pull out the Good book. Yeah, the one you tend to only put out to impress the preacher when he comes to visit. READ it to your family. Challenge your family to read it out loud and individually. A family that reads the Bible grows stronger together.

While the snow purifies the outside, let it purify you personally. Consider the snow as a challenge of rebirth and growth.  


Avery. 18. College freshman. English major. I live in Michigan.

Recently went through a horribly bad breakup, and am very traumatized by it. I still love him.

Music is the best therapy.

ADTR, Pierce The Veil, Citizen, Modern Baseball, Transit, Defeater, The Wonder Years, Manchester Orchestra, Brand New, Two Door Cinema Club, Basement, Seahaven, etc... are examples of my favorite artists. 

I'm a book nerd and John Green fanatic.

I snapchat, so ask me for my name. c:

I've met many people over the years on this site, and most of them are gone now. I don't intend on making any new friends, but I keep this account in case anyone comes back.

So, that's about it. Ok, bye. 

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