Here is a warning about my advice for the next couple months or so- It's going to be totally anti-boy. Don't get me wrong, I'm in a great, 2 years and counting relationship, but that one that ended two years ago? It's coming back to bite me. Background story: I'm friends with all guys. Really, y'all are some of my only female friends. I don't get along well with most women my age. Thus, I've been "one of the guys." That is my comfort zone, yet also where I get boyfriends from. All the guys I hang out with are good friends. We have gatherings and whatnot. This includes my ex. I had been dating him for a couple years, and it ended horrifically. It started with him threatening suicide unless I went out with him, and it ended the same. I didn't care, they were all false threats, and I was done. I was done being manipulated physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was proud of myself, and got into a new, great relationship (with whom I am currently dating). About a year and a half later, I was chatting online with one of my great male friends. I don't remember how, but a specific topic came up- rumors. And he told me that said ex told him things that "I had done" physically for him, and had been bragging on our non-existent sex life, making me out to be a specific type of woman, if you know what i mean... I was angry, but decided to let it go. I figured, hey, it's just one guy who ALSO happened to be an ex of mine, but that was a long, long time ago (7 years ago we broke up) and I figured they were just discussing due to that common place. Last week, another friend brought it up. I had mentioned rumors in high school, and he (being the idiot he really is) "OH, you mean all the things that ___ is saying??? " Me: Um, no o.O but please, do share with the class sir. What is it that you've been hearing? ... Basically, more rumors. Different. Worse. It was getting pretty bad at this point, so I approached the ex that has been saying these things. I asked him what he had been saying, he said he didn't remember. I asked him who he told (that ought to be a low number, i thought, he could easily pull that number.)... He said all the guys. Every last guy I hang out with thinks I am a (you know what with a w). Only two of them have approached me about it. So, here's a bit of the conversation we had from there... [7/22/2011 3:32:48 AM] Chelsea: Can I ask why? [7/22/2011 3:32:56 AM] (ex'snamehere): why what? [7/22/2011 3:33:04 AM] Chelsea: Why i became a bragging object? [7/22/2011 3:33:32 AM] Chelsea: Not to be sour, but it's exactly what my parents always warned me about, and i stood up for you on it saying it'd never happen.. [7/22/2011 3:33:44 AM] Chelsea: So i would kind of like to know where I went wrong there. [7/22/2011 3:34:06 AM] (ex'snamehere): ...you trusted me. that's where you went wrong. "You trusted me. That's where you went wrong."... Ladies, this statement blew me away. It's been 2 years, and he's STILL after my reputation. He's a thief and a liar, and exactly what my parents always warned me about. Listen to those people kids, they're actually right, even if it seems like they're just over cautious. You can't trust teenage boys, you can't trust manipulators. I am angry. Angry beyond belief, confused, and blown off my feet that someone would even admit that. "..You trusted me..." THAT is truly amazing and horrifying and sickening. Honestly, I'm unsure why I'm sharing this. Maybe it's looking for comfort, maybe it's to warn you about what guys are really after, even after "so long of a time", maybe it's really just a warning that my advice will be angry. I guess we'll see.

I've been told that before by a few guys. And it's true...you should be very careful in relationships. People aren't always who they say they are, and they choose which side they will show to you. But that doesn't mean you should be paranoid either lol...just strike a balance I guess. Build trust, but still be cautious.

Seriously. I've gotten involved with 2 guys who say, "You shouldn't trust me." Ladies. When a guy says that, listen. That's the most honesty you'll ever get out of him. So listen, and run as fast as you can. Because a line like that is a play on your nurturing and caring nature, to get you into bed with him. If he actually gives you the courtesy of knowing you shouldn't trust him, don't.

Chelsea, if I were anywhere near you, I'd beat the crap out of this guy. You know that what he's doing is sexual harrasment. You can take legal action. A friend of mine had a similar vein of stuff going on, and she went to the police.

Seriously. You can do that. :) And you should.