Freakyone (I'm sorry dear, I've completely forgotten your real name. Forgive me?) posted a quote that I takes some issue with, and I wish to discuss it. I think, if I promise to behave, it might prove to be an enlightening and generally awesomesauce conversation. Just to note at the outset, it's Sarah Mally's book I have a problem with, not Sarah Mally herself (I don't know her, she's probably a lovely person), and certainly not Freakyone. Now that's established, lets go! [quote]"To be rescued, one must first be a princess" Sarah Mally [/quote] Let's unpack this. I can see two problems with this idea, but I'm not just going to sit here and lecture. What do you girls think about this statement? The context is gender roles and sexual/emotional purity, which is what the book this quote comes from is about. I've forgotten the name of the book, unfortunately, can someone help me out?

Before You Meet Prince Charming, I believe. Which probably explains the nature of the quote. If you're looking to get a prince charming, odds are you already see yourself in a princess role. I'm not a big fan of the quote. Not a fan of the idea that a woman or princess should need be rescued, nor of the idea that in order to be rescued that you have to be a princess. Essentially that you have to "earn" your rescue with good behavior, because hey, "bad" (of any context, emotional or otherwise) girls don't deserve rescue or a prince charming. Which isn't what the sentence [i]says[/i], but it is heavily implied by the sentiment and reinforced all over the place by everything else. I don't know the name of the song, but for example Taylor Swift has a song where, in the video, there is a girl who has a boyfriend, and Taylor Swift feels she deserves him more (all of her songs I guess?). And in the video they all attend a dance, and the aforementioned girl has on a red, revealing "slutty" dress, and Swift's wearing this modest white, "virginal" dress, and proceeds to steal the boy from the other girl, completely ignoring her feelings or worth. Which is basically saying that unless you fill that role of the pure perfect girl, you don't deserve a boy and any girl that's more pure than you can take him from you. Because they're worth more. EDIT: The song is You Belong With Me, btw. Should have remembered that lol. But yeah, it's like the last 50 seconds or whatever. EDIT EDIT: To clarify that I am not "hating" Swift or even the song or the idea that sometimes people are with the wrong girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever. Just the idea enforced by the video that if you're purer than that wrong person, their feelings or emotions or the fact that they're actually the one in a relationship with the one you like doesn't matter. Just to clarify I [i]do[/i] think purity and for lack of a better term "good" behavior is important. And I don't want to make Freakyone feel bad for posting that quote. If it reminds you to act how you want to act than that's good! It's just that I don't think that it's importance needs to be stressed by downplaying or erasing the worth of anyone who doesn't match up to standards of purity (and again I'm sure that's not your intent. That's just what happens when this message is repeated indiscriminately to all girls all the time) If you [i]need[/i] rescuing, you deserve to be rescued. Regardless of whether you're a princess or not. Hope that makes sense. I'm really tired and still coming down from a really bad panic attack earlier.

aww, *hugs* panic attacks aren't fun :( Also, /thread. Courtney basically hit both of my points. It also bothered me though, the idea that not only do we apparently need to be rescued, but that this is a desirable position to be in. We should want to be in a place where we need to be rescued? idk, it doesn't make sense to me. And definitely, I'm not at all even a tiny bit trying to make Freakyone feel bad for posting that quote. I'm thankful actually, it's brought things up for discussion that I think do need to be discussed.

Hi, names Christine by the way but no worries. Okay I see where you guys are coming from, I had never really thought of it in that way before, but now that you bring it up I see how it could be taken as offensive, and I think you guys are right. I think all girls dissever to be rescued those who are the 'bad' girls almost more that the 'good' girls because they need it more. I really don't know why I posted that, ask any of my friends I'm completely for girls saving themselves and taking leading roles, and in fact I think the woman saves the man most of the time. Thank you for starting this

Christine! I knew that >_< I'm sorry again. If I forget your name it's not because I don't like you. I'm just really bad at names. Yeah, I dunno. That whole book bothered me. I'd actually never heard of it till two or three days ago, but never mind. I'd just discovered it and been slightly horrified by it when I saw your quote and was like, 'OH HEY! Its this book!' On it's own it seems like a rather harmless idea. Princesses and fairytales and so on and so forth, all seems nice enough. I'm fond of a good fantasy myself. I'm just wary because of my background and upbringing, I guess.

[b]Freakyone wrote:[/b] [quote]in fact I think the woman saves the man most of the time. [/quote] Haha yeah, man, there are all sorts of funny gender roles. On the one hand you have "knights in shining armor", and yet on the other hand you have the concept of the "saving love of a woman"