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bf and family problem...

Ilovetwinkies

18 year(s) ago

Ok...here's my problem. I've been in love with this GREAT guy for almost 9 months and my family hates him, but like I said...i love him. We were even engaged. Then we kinda did something about 5 times then my mom went through my room and found some notes James(my fiance/bf) wrote me. The thing we did was that we had sex and i know that wasn't a smart thing. it was ALWAYS protected tho and I'm NOT pregnant so that's good. :) James also filled out a card for us to go talk to someone at school and she called a CPS worker(Child Protection Services) to come talk to me and James. She never talked to James tho. Then my parents say that James talked to her and he lied to her and if I didn't correct her then they(my parents) could've gone to jail. They keep saying things that are COMPLETELY false as fact. My dad also gets into my e-mail and atleast one of them got into my purse and then into my wallet and took mine and James' sweethearts picture plus his ID and something else. NO comment about the other thing. lol! ;) They kept calling me a bunch of things that i really don't wanna say here. If you wanna know what they called me then send me a message or something. Well this is long enough. If you have any questions that you don't want to say here then feel free to send me a message. any advice is GREATLY appirciated!!!!

THeMadHatter

18 year(s) ago

you're 15 and you were... engaged?? 0.o hm... I cant believe I'm saying this, due to the fact that I was in a similar situation, however I believe that your parents may have made a wise decision on not approving of this guy. Hon, you may (or may not be) in love with him, but you need to use your head! You're so young, you dont need to be tied down with such issues! If your that sure you will marry him someday, calmly explain that to your parents and why you feel this way. Request that they will have an open-minded conversation with you and this guy. If he loves you that much, he will agree to do the same. Peace love! ~The Hatter

Ilovetwinkies

18 year(s) ago

Ha!!!!!! you do NOT know my parents!!!! be glad you don't! lol! they wouldn't listen to me or him!!!! They think he's a jerk!!! I KNOW he loves me tho!!!! Honestly....how many 17 year old guys would stay up with their gf because she can't sleep because her throat is hurting really bad due to strep, not trying to kiss her or do anything sexual?????? Not very many guys i'll tell you that. I do realize that i'm young and everything but just because we're engaged doesn't mean that i'm tied down or anything. We're just a couple who just REALLY cares for each other. He doesn't care what other guys think about him...especially his friends. Some of them think he's a wimp or something because he went to things for my choir and ROTC. He's just trying to be supportive. I really appricaite that too. At this rate...i'll be tranferred to Central tho. :( I'd get a better education where I'm at! Plus if i go there then that means no choir...ROTC...or anything like that. Even if i decided to go on my own probably. I do understand that they're trying to protect me...but trust me...James has NEVER hit me!!! My parents have!!!! My dad's got more of an anger problem than James does. I feel like dirt living here too!!! I feel like nobody here understands me or loves me!!! I feel loved by James' family tho. They treat me with respect!!! My family on the other hand....HA!!!!! that's funny! :laugh: They've actually got me to where I'm thinking about cutting myself!!!! My mom's also has asked me is I want her to pack a suitcase for me and go live on the streets or something. I know where I'd go if i could tho. I've actually got about 3 ideas. I don't think i'd go to my old house tho...too scary!!! lol! James' house or his grandparents...they love me and his grandma already said she would be more than willing to let me live there. :) My parents...they say if i leave with James(even if we don't get married)then don't come back. I'm thinking...ok then....BYE!!!!!! lol! I know it's kinda mean...i personally think they kinda deserve it tho.

Bittersweet

18 year(s) ago

I read more and more and grow more and more worried. You're 15, and you're saying you LOVE HIM. Usually people wait before saying they're in love, because the word love should not be taken casually. Hun, I'm sorry, but it's probably nothing more than hormones that you're feeling. ESPECIALLY for this James, (who you say is 17. another red flag) Don't get engaged when you're so young, if you get married, it's more likely that you two will seperate not too long after you say "I do" or you two may fight a lot. The crap your parents did was unjust and unfair, but I recognize they were trying to protect. They also realize that this is probably hormones for you AND him, and don't want you to get an STD or even pregnant. I'm sorry, but I think that while your parents went a little too far, but I side with them.

NuclearCheez

18 year(s) ago

ok, girl, this is gonna sound harsh, but i don't think you really love this guy. if you've had sex with the guy, especially. that means that you're willing to sacrifice your body and your purity, all for a boy! i think your parents are right. i think you should try to back out of this relationship with James. because it doesn't look good. if you marry James at such a young age, i can guarantee that you will not have a happy marriage. another thing - you say you love him? then wait for him! if you truly love James, then you will be willing to wait. sorry if all that sounded harsh or immature or whatever. i'm praying for you.

NuclearCheez

18 year(s) ago

ok, girl, this is gonna sound harsh, but i don't think you really love this guy. if you've had sex with the guy, especially. that means that you're willing to sacrifice your body and your purity, all for a boy! i think your parents are right. i think you should try to back out of this relationship with James. because it doesn't look good. if you marry James at such a young age, i can guarantee that you will not have a happy marriage. another thing - you say you love him? then wait for him! if you truly love James, then you will be willing to wait. sorry if all that sounded harsh or immature or whatever. i'm praying for you.

WeDanceNow

18 year(s) ago

[b]NuclearCheez wrote:[/b] [quote]another thing - you say you love him? then wait for him! if you truly love James, then you will be willing to wait. [/quote] Awww, I wanted to say thattt! lol. Anywho, you're parents don't diserve it, hun. They're trying to protect you. Sure they're going through your stuff, but you're also giving them reason to. One of the comandments is; Honor Your Mother and Father... Am I wrong? No acctually, ahha. You may love him... But I doubt it's a lasting love. Here's a test; stop having sex with the guy... Then see how long that lasts... If you both can wait until you're both married, then... well I'd say you're in love... Another thing, and this is for the other people who've said "You're 15! I doubt you love the guy" and so on... umm, age doesn't entierly matter... Sure she's fifteen... She is young, and she makes mistakes(we ALL do) but still... And sweetie... Just becuase you're engaged doesn't mean it's alright to have sex... it's only alright if you're MARRIED... Legaly :). Chyeah, I had more to say. But I forgot, lol.

dancingwithtomatoes42

18 year(s) ago

My head is kinda spinning trying to understand all of that, but I re-read it a few times and i think i comprehend totally. First thing I would do if I were you, give your parents good reason to repect you and James. Stop being sexually active, making out in front of them, all that kind of stuff. And really, i suggest NOT making out anyways, but that is a personal conviction of mine that not all girls share that. You say you are in love with James and that you want to marry him. I read your blog about this. If your parents are abusing you, you need to call the police. I know that it seems scary, trust me. And they might put you in foster care if you call the police. But hopefully, they will be able to do something about this. Also, is James a Christian as well? I mean, if you are "unequally yoked" and you are a Christain and he isnt, that could make for a very unhealthy marriage after highschool or college. Your parents are trying to protect you from being hurt, but if they are hurting you, you need out, dear.

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