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Dating at 14

musicislove

15 year(s) ago

I want to start off by saying that although I may look new, I'm not. I've been on MyPraize under another name, but I felt the need to create an anonymous account to avoid having my "friends" make fun of me for being so open with you girls about some sensitive subjects we cover here. So just call me Ari. Let me give you a backstory: I'm 14. I'll be a freshman this fall. About a year and a half ago, I had my first experience with what I thought was "love." I fell for him quickly and I fell hard. It didn't last long at all, and it ended terribly. One of my closest girlfriends pretty much stole him and then found a way to turn all my friends against me. It sent me into a 5-month depression. I hated everyone who I had thought were my friends, and I hated life. But then 5 months later, I recommitted myself to Christ, and my depression ended. Ever since last summer, I decided that I wouldn't date until I was a junior in high school. I succeded in that all last year and so far this summer. But since then, I've been thinking of changing that. I have a couple of older friends that recently became engaged. They had been going out for almost 10 years, starting when they were freshmen. They're Christians too. I've been thinking, "What if I miss THE ONE because I was blocking myself off?" I know that there aren't that many guys that have a genuine relationship with Christ in my school. I go to a Christian school, but if you took all of the guys that went to school and sent them to a public school this coming year, there are very few who I believe would stay true to their Christian beliefs. I'm not the type of girl that will go out with just anyone. If I did go out with anyone at 14, I would make sure he has a real relationship with Christ, and was a deeply rooted Christian even before I came along. I'm trying to be that type of girl too. Someone who Christian guys would be attracted to because of my attitude and relationship with Christ. I also know that following this post, there will be a bunch of "You're 14. You can't even drive. Go do your homework! Blah blah blah." stuff. I know that it's not likeley that anyone I go out with will be able to drive, but going out to dinner isn't the only way to get to know someone. Plus, don't you think that if I date a guy that meets the standards I set above, we could have a long period of time to get to know eachother and even grow together in Christ before we reach the age to even think about getting married? I totally blanked out about everything I was going to say after that, but I guess that's okay. This post is long enough. I'm not even sure anything I said made any sense. So let me just get to the point: I think I'm going to stop blocking myself off. If I meet a guy who is a Christian that lives his life out for God, that I really think God wants me to be with, I won't avoid dating him. Thoughts?

paapaa

15 year(s) ago

Hey I am 14 also. I know how you are feeling. Guys are important to us, because we want that emotional relationships that we see in the movies. I feel like that all the time. But yeah, you always have questions like that, "What if I miss him?" "What if he doesn't like me?" "Is he the ONE?". All thoughts running through my head. But, trust yourself with God. And if you don't want to date, then don't. God won't let you miss your true soul mate. I promise (:

musicislove

15 year(s) ago

[b]paapaa wrote:[/b] [quote]God won't let you miss your true soul mate.[/quote] That's true.

KattyKit

15 year(s) ago

[quote]Dating at 14[/quote] Don't do it. Sorry, immediate reaction.

THeMadHatter

15 year(s) ago

Who says that you have to DATE your soul mate in order for them to BE your soul mate? Honestly, I'm head over heels for someone* right now who i would have NEVER dated in high school. He's been my friend, ONLY my friend and brother, since early middle school. We both dated other people for many many years, but we were always there for each other. Honestly, being that tight of friends first is what holds us together. If I had dated him earlier, like when I met him all those years ago, I honestly don't think we would have been this close. Neither of us were ready for a relationship at that point. Most people aren't until they reach late late high school or even late college. Don't worry about finding him. You will probably find the person and not know it for years, to be honest. But hey, if it's meant to be, then it WILL be. Trust God to show you, not your eyes to go on a wild hunt. I know it's peer pressure at this point, that people are engaged, dating, "madly in love", and all those things, but the BEST thing you can have at this point is a brother. *(For the record, we've been dating for over a year now, and I couldn't be happier. He even talks marriage often.)

THeMadHatter

15 year(s) ago

Now, lets look at a fun statistic: only 10% of high school "sweet hearts" get married. Now, that's probably late high school, like your prom date. Now look at the divorce rate today overall: 57%... So that 10% that get married now turn to about 4% or LESS that will ever make it in the real world.

NinjaUnicorn

15 year(s) ago

Noooooooooo. Don't even go there. I'm 15. Had a boyfriend for about four months starting February of this year. We broke up and now it's an absolutely nightmare. Don't do it.

musicislove

15 year(s) ago

Thanks for all of your opinions and advice. I think I will just stick to friends for now. Like someone said earlier, God won't let me miss my real soul mate. I guess I'll just wait till I'm older. Plus, getting rid of another possible distraction from what I should be caring so much about, growing closer to God, can't be bad. Thanks. I really appreciate your input. :)

KattyKit

15 year(s) ago

That's right. Dating is a distraction from school work and such, and from your relationship with God. Bethany, tell me about it! All the girls in school kept asking me who I thought was cute, why haven't I dated anyone, am I a lesbian because I refuse to date. Blah blah blah blah blah. Irritating? To say the least.

THeMadHatter

15 year(s) ago

[b]KattyKit wrote:[/b] [quote] am I a lesbian because I refuse to date. Blah blah blah blah blah. Irritating? To say the least.[/quote] Oh I had that even though I was dating a guy in late-high-school. I had a lot of close brothers, because, frankly, I get along a LOT better with males than females in person. Since they always saw just me running around with a pack of 6+ men, they always thought I was just one of them, talking about cute girls and such. >.>

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