Guys, this is a confession. You may not believe it, you may not be ready to hear it, but here goes. I am not so good with the ladies. Yes, you read that right. Now I know what you're all thinking, which is something along the lines of "Reed, you're so witty and cool. How do you not have women fawning at your feet?" It's a fair question, and the answer isn't an easy one. Many factors are involved, some of which I'm still coming to understand. However what this looks like in practical situation is not just a lack of "game," but an almost comical inability to respond when given signals. When I was younger (so much younger than today) my lack of game was not really a problem. I was a complete imbecile and I had no idea how to tell if a girl was interested in me or what to do if she was. My knowledge of the fairer sex was virtually nonexistent. In high school I was popular and always had a different girl to go to prom with every year, but even in that situation I rarely knew if a girl was flirting with me and I certainly didn't know if I was flirting back. To this day my mom will tell me I was flirting with this girl or that girl and I had no idea. This is something that might have improved had I not narrowed my scope, but I did. I began a relationship with one girl that lasted from the summer I graduated high school to the summer I graduated college. Of course at the time I thought this was super - I was sure we were going to be married and be happy forever. In hindsight, though, it was a huge mistake. Breaking up after college without having dated anyone else crippled not only my opportunities to meet people but my skills in capitalizing on those opportunities. All those years of not chasing women left me bereft of the tools one seems to need. On the other side it's hard to meet new people. There's no one my age at church. There are no eligible women at work. My band plays mostly for youth events or in churches, where my demographic is also discouragingly absent. What this means is that when I do meet someone I'm interested in, I'm forced to act quickly and decisively if I want to make a move, because the chance will pass. It's not like in school where you knew you'd be seeing someone every day in class and have built-in reasons to get to know them. Nope, you have to lay it out on the table and do the scariest thing of all, which is risk letting someone else know your emotions. This is something I have never learned to do. And it's starting to become a problem. Take tonight for example. I was at a restaurant with my parents for my mom's birthday. I think our waitress was trying to flirt with me. When went behind my chair while talking to us she put her hands on my shoulders. Then, later, she complimented me on my hair, saying how pretty it was. She was young and cute and I should have found a way to reciprocate the attention. Put my number on her card or leave a nice tip with mine on it. Talk to her, compliment her name, ask her if she goes to school around here (we're like two miles from the local state college) anything. Something. Because even if it bombed completely I could walk out the door of that restaurant and ever have to see her again. Instead, I walked out the door of that restaurant and will probably never see her again. And I'm planting my foot way up in my own butt because what would it have hurt? Best case scenario, I get a number, maybe a date. Worst case scenario? She politely ignores me. No waitress is going to freak out on her customer for something innocent - it's not good business. Instead I feel like a jerk because I let her signals go to waste. And believe me, signals are wasted on me. Used to be I didn't pick up on them. Now I just don't have the (figurative) balls to do anything about it. Well guys that's my problem in a nut shell. Confidence is attractive and I apparently do not have it. Maybe you don't care but I needed someplace to rant and get my frustration out cause I've been kicking myself all night for not pulling the trigger. If anyone wants to share girl-fail anecdotes, feel free. Or if you have good advice on stepping it up, I'm game to hear it as well. I wish you all good fortune in 2011.

Relevant: http://www.homestarrunner.com/yellodello_mark2.html "I guess I just don't understaaaaaand the ladies" "Girls are like a great sports play" and "I think I has the solution!"

Well, seems to me like you identified the problem, now you just gotta do something about it. For me, a little less than a year ago I decided I don't want to look back and regret doing something or not doing something in regards to the fairer sex, or rather in my case, one particular incredible young woman. I didn't want to look back and wonder what could have been if I'd have said something or expressed my feelings. Consequently, I did say something and we've been "together" (I guess you could call it dating, except she has really reserved parents as far as relationships go, and mine are mildly so as well, so 'dating' is a taboo word) for 9 months. But yeah, point is that life is too short to live with regrets. --- Keep in mind this is coming from an 18 year old kid who is in his first relationship and is idealistic enough to believe it will survive four years of West Point and 8+ years of the Army after that. I make no claim to know what I'm talking about :P