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Feeling trapped...

Bittersweet

14 year(s) ago

You know how the children of pastors and cops sometimes go down the wrong path, just so they can rebel against their family? I'm in that position. Except it's not my mom or dad. It's my brother. Aaron is a wonderful person. He's kind and strong. But he's also has the tendency to be a know it all (at my brother's college, theology majors like himself are all know it alls. But even by their standards, he's bad) and whenever I do something not to his standards, he lectures me. "This isn't what G-d wants of you, you can do better than that. Really, Kellie? That's a stupid idea." Ect. It's gotten to the point I constantly feel like a failure, because by Aaron's standards, I'm not doing enough to pursue my relationship with G-d. I pray, I praise, I read the Bible. I admit, not enough as I'd like, and I'm working on it. But it's not enough for Aaron, and he points it out, saying I'm too preoccupied with boys, makeup, music, ect. I'm sick of it. I love my brother, but I can't take the constant judgement. And this attitude scares me, cause I'm afraid that if this keeps up, I'm gonna do something stupid in retaliation.

KattyKit

14 year(s) ago

Well, your brother's the one who needs an attitude adjustment, not you. Tell him that it's not his job to "keep you on the right path." He is your brother, not your parents. He has absolutely no right to judge you by any standard of his. Also, I've found when brothers get annoyingly know-it-all-ish, socking in the arm tends to solve many problems. ;) Also, also, my mother says it's just a college thing. Just like music majors (T_T) can suddenly feel like they're experts on their subjects, the same things happen to theology majors. Just tell him to step off.

Bittersweet

14 year(s) ago

The thing is, Kat, if I snap at Aaron, he tells our parents. He doesn't keep secrets, when it comes to his little sister's "wellfare." A few years ago, when I had relapse into an addiction, I begged Aaron not to tell our folks. Instead, he tells my mom, "Kellie may have something she might want to talk to you about." I CAN'T STOP HIM. DX (P.S. Aaron outweighs me by fifty pounds, and it's all muscle. He's currently off climbing Mt. Rainier with my dad. You think I want to try and hurt someone like that? O.o)

Son-Of-Fire

14 year(s) ago

I would try to sit down and have a calm talk with him about how it makes me feel. Just tell him that you feel like he is pushing you too much and ask him to lay off a little.

KattyKit

14 year(s) ago

So tell your parents about what he's doing. I mean, there's a difference between concern and bossy-busybody.

Bittersweet

14 year(s) ago

I'm not sure how well that'd work. My dad would agree with me, my mom would ask if there's any validity to his claims.

larry229

14 year(s) ago

...then just tell your dad? Or just ignore your brother. I won't tell you precisely what i think of him because I have to be a mature and responsible adult*, but [i]it's not very much[/i]. You're just fine how you are sweety. Don't let a sanctimonious busybody get under your skin, even if he is your brother. *or at least act as though I am one

Bittersweet

14 year(s) ago

I'll try. I'm not sure how effective it'll be, but I'll try. When they get home. Papa and Aaron are off climbing Mt. Rainier.

KattyKit

14 year(s) ago

[b]larry229 wrote:[/b] [quote] *or at least act as though I am one[/quote] Psh. Why pretend? It's much more fun to just be weird.

Bittersweet

14 year(s) ago

Agreed. :D Being normal is... omg, I just forgot the word I was gonna use. :blink:

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