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HELP!

beicountrified-buddy

16 year(s) ago

My so-called "best friend" (Melanie) has this guys number (named Justin) and she likes him. Well, she's gotten to the point where sometimes she brags and goes "Oh, I have Justin's number and he texted me and etc.". Tonight I got a message from her saying that she would like me to pray for Justin's Grandpa (he hit his head and is in the hospital). I said that she was being Manipulative about having his number, meaning that she was taking advantage of the privilege. She texted back saying "I'm done"; and then I replied "Good". Then her sister texted me saying "WILL YOU BE NICE 2 MY SISTA!!!". I said "Will you leave me alone?!"; and they haven't texted me since. My parents think that Justin used to like me, and the thing is, every single girl in my grade has a crush on him (or had). I am so irritated with her! I don't want to be friends anymore because she is so annoying! She has gotten into the habit of asking me, "Bonnie, what is your problem?". What do I do? Her parents will just tell me off to my family. :unsure:

Going-Under

16 year(s) ago

I think you went about this in the wrong way (completely). You should have simply asked her to stop bragging. Nicely. And if you already have asked her to do that ([i]nicely[/i]) and she hasn't done that simple favor for you then you should forget about her. She is obviously not a true friend if she didn't do that easy thing for you. I'm not saying you have to be mean and rude to her though. You should still always be nice to everyone around you, it shows that you are the bigger person. Hope that helped.

beicountrified-buddy

16 year(s) ago

[b]Going_Under wrote:[/b] [quote]I think you went about this in the wrong way (completely). You should have simply asked her to stop bragging. Nicely. And if you already have asked her to do that ([i]nicely[/i]) and she hasn't done that simple favor for you then you should forget about her. She is obviously not a true friend if she didn't do that easy thing for you. I'm not saying you have to be mean and rude to her though. You should still always be nice to everyone around you, it shows that you are the bigger person. Hope that helped.[/quote] I ponder these thoughts while eating an apple. I can't ask her simply, Hannah. It's because we have a bad history; I say something, she turns it into a mess, blah blah blah... and BAM! I'm in trouble. This time I just told her how I felt.

InHisLove

16 year(s) ago

[b]beicountrified wrote:[/b] [quote]My so-called "best friend" (Melanie) has this guys number (named Justin) and she likes him.[/quote] I think she's too young to like this boy. I also think that you should keep your friends over boys. [quote] Well, she's gotten to the point where sometimes she brags and goes "Oh, I have Justin's number and he texted me and etc.".[/quote] That is immature of her, but it would have been much more helpful to talk to her when she said that instead of later. She was probably unaware that you didn't like her talking about it. [quote] Tonight I got a message from her saying that she would like me to pray for Justin's Grandpa (he hit his head and is in the hospital). I said that she was being Manipulative about having his number, meaning that she was taking advantage of the privilege.[/quote] That was not the right time to talk to her about this. She texted you asking for help and prayer. She was probably a little scared because Justin's grandfather was hurt and in the hospital. Personally, I would recommend you to apologize about your insensitivity but then also talk to her (TALK--Not Text) Unfortunately, you can't go into that conversation looking for an apology in return. If she does, you accept it. If not, you gain your friend back. After that, it's time to forget it and move on. [quote] Then her sister texted me saying "WILL YOU BE NICE 2 MY SISTA!!!". I said "Will you leave me alone?!";[/quote] How old is her sister? She doesn't sound like the most mature, but she was defending her sister. [quote] and they haven't texted me since.[/quote] You asked her to leave you alone. You might not have meant your friend to take that, but it is obvious that she did. [quote]My parents think that Justin used to like me, and the thing is, every single girl in my grade has a crush on him (or had).[/quote] Well, if every girl has had a crush on him, then you are going to be mixed up in more drama than you need. [quote] I am so irritated with her! I don't want to be friends anymore because she is so annoying![/quote] Well, I really think that you should try to be friends if she was your best friend before. If you talk things through then your relationship will either be over--which you want right now anyways--or it will grow and mature. [quote] She has gotten into the habit of asking me, "Bonnie, what is your problem?".[/quote] That is a very poorly phrased question on her part, but when she asks you, I suggest you respond calmly what is bothering you. [quote] What do I do? Her parents will just tell me off to my family. :unsure:[/quote] What do you do? You forget about this hormone induced infatuation because it WILL NOT LAST. You find some the friendships that you need to get through and thrive in school and life. You don't need a boyfriend nor do you need to worry about your "crushes". You pray an awful lot that you will grow in God and be the beautiful creation that you were intended to be. Feel free to Personal Message me anytime if you want me to elaborate on any points or need prayer or counsel.

beicountrified-buddy

16 year(s) ago

[b]InHisLove wrote:[/b] [quote][b]beicountrified wrote:[/b] [quote]My so-called "best friend" (Melanie) has this guys number (named Justin) and she likes him.[/quote] I think she's too young to like this boy. I also think that you should keep your friends over boys. [quote] Well, she's gotten to the point where sometimes she brags and goes "Oh, I have Justin's number and he texted me and etc.".[/quote] That is immature of her, but it would have been much more helpful to talk to her when she said that instead of later. She was probably unaware that you didn't like her talking about it. [quote] Tonight I got a message from her saying that she would like me to pray for Justin's Grandpa (he hit his head and is in the hospital). I said that she was being Manipulative about having his number, meaning that she was taking advantage of the privilege.[/quote] That was not the right time to talk to her about this. She texted you asking for help and prayer. She was probably a little scared because Justin's grandfather was hurt and in the hospital. Personally, I would recommend you to apologize about your insensitivity but then also talk to her (TALK--Not Text) Unfortunately, you can't go into that conversation looking for an apology in return. If she does, you accept it. If not, you gain your friend back. After that, it's time to forget it and move on. [quote] Then her sister texted me saying "WILL YOU BE NICE 2 MY SISTA!!!". I said "Will you leave me alone?!";[/quote] How old is her sister? She doesn't sound like the most mature, but she was defending her sister. [quote] and they haven't texted me since.[/quote] You asked her to leave you alone. You might not have meant your friend to take that, but it is obvious that she did. [quote]My parents think that Justin used to like me, and the thing is, every single girl in my grade has a crush on him (or had).[/quote] Well, if every girl has had a crush on him, then you are going to be mixed up in more drama than you need. [quote] I am so irritated with her! I don't want to be friends anymore because she is so annoying![/quote] Well, I really think that you should try to be friends if she was your best friend before. If you talk things through then your relationship will either be over--which you want right now anyways--or it will grow and mature. [quote] She has gotten into the habit of asking me, "Bonnie, what is your problem?".[/quote] That is a very poorly phrased question on her part, but when she asks you, I suggest you respond calmly what is bothering you. [quote] What do I do? Her parents will just tell me off to my family. :unsure:[/quote] What do you do? You forget about this hormone induced infatuation because it WILL NOT LAST. You find some the friendships that you need to get through and thrive in school and life. You don't need a boyfriend nor do you need to worry about your "crushes". You pray an awful lot that you will grow in God and be the beautiful creation that you were intended to be. Feel free to Personal Message me anytime if you want me to elaborate on any points or need prayer or counsel.[/quote] It's not me that needs help... it's Melanie.

Going-Under

16 year(s) ago

[b]beicountrified wrote:[/b] [quote][b]Going_Under wrote:[/b] [quote]I think you went about this in the wrong way (completely). You should have simply asked her to stop bragging. Nicely. And if you already have asked her to do that ([i]nicely[/i]) and she hasn't done that simple favor for you then you should forget about her. She is obviously not a true friend if she didn't do that easy thing for you. I'm not saying you have to be mean and rude to her though. You should still always be nice to everyone around you, it shows that you are the bigger person. Hope that helped.[/quote] I ponder these thoughts while eating an apple. I can't ask her simply, Hannah. It's because we have a bad history; I say something, she turns it into a mess, blah blah blah... and BAM! I'm in trouble. This time I just told her how I felt.[/quote] 1) Passion fruit > Apple (I hope some of you understand that) 2) Stating how you feel isn't always the best or smartest thing to do. I would have just walked away. Yes it's hard. I have a friend kinda like that, she has to get the last word in and she takes stuff the wrong way all the time. I've learned (and still am learning) just to... walk... away...

InHisLove

16 year(s) ago

[b]beicountrified wrote:[/b] [quote] It's not me that needs help... it's Melanie.[/quote] I can understand why you feel that way. But you need to realize that neither you or I can change Melanie without her wanting to first. You CAN change you. You can make yourself emotionally stronger and more mature. You can also be an example to her when you choose to be the bigger person. (Btw, if you bring up that you are 'being the bigger person', you really aren't)

beicountrified-buddy

16 year(s) ago

I have prayed for his Grandfather; it's not that I won't pray. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to say that, but they have been mean to me. And they expect me to bounce right back into this unhealthy friendship. But I'm not going to do that because... they are irritating the [b][u]crap[/u][/b] out of me! :S NOTE: When I say "they" I mean Melanie and Lindsey (her younger sister).

Anko

16 year(s) ago

[b]beicountrified wrote:[/b] [quote]I have prayed for his Grandfather; it's not that I won't pray. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to say that, but they have been mean to me. And they expect me to bounce right back into this unhealthy friendship. But I'm not going to do that because... they are irritating the [b][u]crap[/u][/b] out of me! :S NOTE: When I say "they" I mean Melanie and Lindsey (her younger sister).[/quote] No. No "maybe" and "but". It WASN'T the right thing to say, and just because they have been mean to you, does not mean you should act the same to them. I think you should talk to your friend Melanie about it, tell her how you feel. But be gentle,;try to say it as nice as you can. If she gets mad for whatever reason, really try to respond calmly. Because arguing is going to get you nowhere.

NinjaUnicorn

16 year(s) ago

Maybe this could work out in your advantage and you could learn something. Tell Melanie that you are sorry for how you reacted and then explain to her why you reacted that way. Explain that she has hurt your feelings in the past and you feel that your friendship is very unhealthy. Just because she has hurt your feelings gives you no right to hurt hers. Remember how you felt when she was saying those things to you? You wouldn't want to feel that way again would you? Why would you want another person to feel that way?

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