So I've heard the majority of us go through this, yet I am still worried. I think I like a girl, but I can't know for sure. We've known eachother for about two years and we have become the greatest of friends. What makes her unique from all of the other friends is that we both play violin together in this quartet; we both love music and to play with eachother is amazing. I've never had a friend like her before, no one I could ever trust and know that they would always be there for me. With her though, wow. She is a true believer in Christ, and helped me tremendiously with my life problems...haha her dad is a preacher. She's inspired me multiple times, and showed me who God REALLY was. Just over the past few weeks our relationship has grown drastically, even though before I had never dreamed of such a friendship. I know she will be in my life forever. But the thing is...I don't trust guys. My dad, I still have a dad but he works 24/7...I'm even talking about Sundays y'all. I do get to see him some, but not enough to really know him. He gets mad a lot, and always talks negative. He's old too and so he can get annyoing a lot. I have almost given up with him because he really doesn't care what I have to say. He puts a non-trust/non-interest feeling I have for all of the other guys out there because of who he's turned out to be. He used to be an amazing dad, but that was when I was too young to know. Now I need his love, but I never get it. My mom trusted him but now he's changed and I don't want to make the same mistake. Now, there's no books on what I'm feeling but I'm pretty sure I've liked a guy before, atleast for a few moments (lol) and so I told him I liked him and he liked me back. I didn't trust him though, I didn't believe he liked me - I didn't even know for sure if I liked him! He never showed that he loved me, and I eventually gave up with it. I liked him, and I wanted to be loved but I never got that - btw I'm only meaning a side hug, a flirty smile...whatever, just something that shows he cares for me. I was so eager that maybe I liked a guy and there was hope but soon I lost trust in him when I barely had any to begin with. I don't know what it feels like to be loved by a guy, so what I feel towards this amazing girl...what is this?? If I do end up loving her or whatever then what does God think about it? I've tried to push back what feelings I got that may have been wrong idk but they keep on coming back and I don't know what to think. I worry about it constantly and that makes me feel like I AM a lesbian. I believe in God more than anything now - because of her and I don't want this to ruin anything between my relationship with her, or Him. So were there lesbians in the Bible times, or did the human race make that up through carelessness over time? If it's fightable, I think I've got the strength, but what if I'm wasting it by trying to hide who I am? Does God want me to realize He gave me these feelings so I can show Him my Christian strength by putting my faith into action, to fight what I feel so I won't end up in a dark hole? Is this only an obstacle that is tempting me? If I am a lesbian, I am capable of holding it back...not easy but I am willing to try, to keep myself away from trouble and in the light of God. Or am I simply not because I have a choice whether to be or not? Obviously I don't want it, but I must be giving in...? I don't know what God wants me to do: I've waited, I've prayed, had patience, strength, even trust in Him...it's just been way too long, and now with this strong friendship comes strong feelings and I'm afraid it might be wrong. Before I've never had much contact with my friends, most of them didn't like hugs. But this girl is all about loving me and making me happy. I care that she cares for me. I trust her unlike any other person. I've never felt this love so powerful, so I'm afraid of what exactly this love is. I'm not the huggy type of person, but I like getting hugs, it's hard to accept it and like it though because I love it,and she's a girl, know what I mean? I almost told her about this situation...I got pretty far until she eventually guessed it, and then I denied it. I can't seem to tell the "truth, concern"? It's confusion and I feel like no one can help me, not even God because he can't change what I feel if he gave me the feeling in the first place right? He can only help me find out what it is. My patience is gone though. It's something I've tried to figure out, but of course...that's not exactly possble...apparently, I just have to "know" and I don't/can't! Trying to figure it all out and believing that I am a lesbian gives me depression and my friend tries to help me but she can't, no one can because I can't tell them, mostly because I don't even know if it's true. This is probably really hard to follow I realize that, but this here is clearly confusion anyway haha. *sighs* Any advice??