Relax, I'm not going to start. However, the scary thing is that if I had any slight change in my background, I might... Let me put this into perspective. I do not have a really bad life. I have two strong Christians as parents and a family rooted in the faith. I'm pretty well respected at school and in the town. I am privilaged compared to some of my class-mates. But the thing is... I get funks. They make me anti-social and generally grouchy. They usually come right around when I'm about to start my period. Usually, but not always. Well today, we are here in Ft. Worth visiting my aunt. She and her friend and my parents plan a hamburger cook-out. I'm in a serious funk. I've never felt this bad before. I mean, I knew that if I stepped outside, I was gonna say something that would really, really hurt someone. So I figure, why go outside then? My mom was ticked. Really ticked. She thought I was was being selfish and rude. But instead of coming and asking me to come out nicely, she yells at me right off the bat. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't hear it. I ran to the restroom. When I got there, I slammed the door and the next thing I knew I was screaming and crying and beating the wall with my hands and head. (I have the headache to match now.) I wanted to put on my tennis shoes and run. Run anywhere, but just run. I wanted to feel pain. I'm just really glad that the only sharp object nearby was my fingernails, and they don't cut well. My mom and I one time were discussing a mutual student of ours. He would go into these rages without really knowing why, and they would terrify him. That's how I was. I could barely control myself. It really, really scared me. Could y'all just pray for me that that doesn't ever happen again? Please?

Honestly, I know what that's like. I know what it's like to get like that and not be able to control yourself. The amount of times I've been talked out of hurting myself or committing suicide. I used to have funks as you call them a lot though I was very good as hiding them... Anyway, next time it happens cry out to God k? Just let go and lay it all down; hurt, disappointment, anger, rage, what ever you're feeling. God can handle what we throw at Him. And if you ever need too please please please message me *hug*

I can definitely pray. :hug: I completely understand. I get in these "funks" often. And they last for weeks. I went through one just about a month ago. The scary part about it for me is that I HAVE cute before. I don't ever ever ever want to again. Being self destructive accomplishes nothing, but at the time, you just feel like you need a release. For a lot of people, cutting is that release. I guess, in time, we learn to control it better and to give it to God.