Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, andout-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And although I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullcrap. And, that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Post edited by: hexisxmyxrefuge, at: 2007/12/29 23:08

woah buddy, you may want to go through and edit some of the language before someone else sees that...

Wow, supprising use of cuss words...but other than that it was funny....and VERY true.

oooo... too late. :dry:

Ooo... whoops! I totally thought I edited them out, but I c/p from the wrong thing. My bad! *goes to edit them now* :blush:

lol thank you dear. :P it's much better *cough*safer*cough* now.

Post edited by: THeMadHatter, at: 2007/12/29 23:12

Oh my! That is freakin hilarious! I love it! I have always wondered about that-no pad on earth makes periods happy. :pinch:

hahaha we don't have that brand over here but man that was funny? wouldn't it be better to have a female in charge of that kind of stuff? i mean well you know why :P

[b]hexisxmyxrefuge wrote:[/b] [quote] "Have a Happy Period." [/quote] :pinch: I always hated that.

[b]THeMadHatter wrote:[/b] [quote]lol thank you dear. :P it's much better *cough*safer*cough* now.<br><br>Post edited by: THeMadHatter, at: 2007/12/29 23:12[/quote] Thanks for catching me on that, chica! I would've been incredibly mad at myself if I had left that up there like that for everyone to see. :unsure: