At the moment I'm reading this book called Boundaries in Dating: How healthy choices grow healthy relationships by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend ([url]http://www.christianbook.com/boundaries-in-dating-henry-cloud/9780310200345/pd/00342[/url]). So far it's pretty good (though I feel like a nerd sitting on my bed with the book, a pencil, pen, notebook and bible!). I thought I'd sum up each chapter (as well as include some of my own thoughts) so y'all could have a wee read and a discussion if you felt so inclined. Sorry if it seems like I'm jumping all over the place! :) [b][u]Intro[/u][/b] God grows people up through dating relationships because as people become aware of their immaturity and are able to find out what they need to work on before they are ready for a significant relationship. Although some people are against dating or choose to wait until they are older to date the question is not whether or not you are dating, it is more like "Who are you dating and who are you becoming in your dating? What fruit are you producing?" and other issues the bible is clear on... Human problems are matters of the heart, the soul, one's orientation towards God and a host of other maturity issues. Although dating can be hazardous, it does have it's advantages when gone about in the right way... [color=#FF0000]1. Dating gives people the opportunity to learn about themselves, others and relationships in a safe context.[/color] It can be a time of discovery about the opposite sex, one's own sexual feelings, moral limits, relationship skills and one's taste in people. People mature and learn from mistakes and that's what bad/undesirable dating experiences can help them do (though I'm not encouraging them as there is always a level of heart break and hurt). You should have support in your dating lives from friends, pastors and communities as it gives you a safe place to grow until you are ready for marriage. [color=#FF0000]2. Dating provides a context to work through issues[/color] Most often than not the first people you are attracted to aren't so great and it's through getting to know yourself and what you value through others is how you can get into a relationship that will last and that isn't harmful in any way. [color=#FF0000]3. Dating helps build helps build relationship skills[/color] Dating exposes things like insecurities and lack of relationship skills like communication, trust and self-sacrifice; once aware of these problems you can work towards correcting them and growing within yourself and God with the support of others. [color=#FF0000]4. Dating can heal and repair[/color] You can learn a lot about yourself through dating and when in the right situation/context dating can help you heal and prepare you for future relationships. (Will skip number 5) [color=#FF0000]6. Dating lets someone learn what he or she likes in the opposite sex[/color] [color=#FF0000]7. Dating gives a context to learn self-control and other delay of gratification[/color] By not forgoing sex the relationship and doing the best for the other person is more important than self-gratification and sexual expression. God's boundaries were expressed well in Soloman's advice to the young man (though it also applies to young women) in Ecclesiates [11:9]: "Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasent during the days of young manhood [womenhood]. And follow the impulse of your heart and the desires of your eyes. [i]Yet know that God will bring you to judgement for all these things[/i]" Dating must be balanced with God's boundaries of what if good.

[b]keyseya wrote:[/b] [quote]God's boundaries were expressed well in Soloman's advice to the young man (though it also applies to young women) in Ecclesiates [11:9]: "Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasent during the days of young manhood [womenhood]. And follow the impulse of your heart and the desires of your eyes. [i]Yet know that God will bring you to judgement for all these things[/i]" Dating must be balanced with God's boundaries of what if good.[/quote] QFT, Kezia. This is a great idea for a discussion, for both the younger and older ladies in this forum.

Thank you. I like this thread.

Yeah, sorry guys I keep on seeing the book and thinking I must get on and read/share! Especially since Logan wants to read it too. I have a few big assignments due soon but I'll try my hardest ok? EDIT: Can you girls pray for Logan and I in this area too please? Thanks a bunch!