[b][color=#825900][size=4]This past week something has been heavy on my heart. God uses our weaknesses to better us, and I've seen Him completely change me in ways I never thought would change. But I am still unsure about this one. I used to work in the ER, doing paper work. I vowed never to work in a hospital again. I just dont like the atmosphere, I care too much, it drives me over the edge. But i've always wanted to go serve in foreign countrys, using my music to minister to souls...and bring more to Christ. Well I have a good friend who is going to become a nurse, and I told her this past week that I couldn't be a nurse. but when I tried to say why, I realized I was just blubbering. I have no reason. I just dont "WANT" to. Then last night my sister lost her inhailer, I had stuggled all day with the thought of becomming a nurse. She had to be rushed to a friends house to borrow they're inhailer. And this all happened while I was sick in bed. (still am) I realized something. I can go play music till my voice gives out. and my fingers fall off...but what good is that to someone who needs caring for? I saw the word nursing< in a whole new light, it begins with nur< like nurture, then sing<. Jesus healed those who needed healed, then he witnessed to them. in a large way, his healing did witness to them. So thats my delema. I feel like its clear as day. "I should study to become a nurse". And it also seems clear that He is conferming this because I dont want< to become a nurse. Does that mean Gods conferming it?? It is< a weakness. I'm prolly over thinking this. But you must understand, I'm not exactly brilliant, and I have so much to do in order to become a music minister. It seems I have no room for nursing as well. But I know that moses couldn't speak well. or lead well. And yet God made that his prime duty. I dont know why I'm putting this up, God is who I need to be seeking an answer from. and I am. Just pray for me. Pray that I'll know for sure. Maybe God has done something similar in your life that relates to this. idk, just please give me your thoughts and prayers! This could change a lot of things. [/size][/color][/b]

an interesting thing to think about would be going into foreign countries as a nurse, but still use your gift of music to minister to the people there... kinda of a double ministry I guess you could say But overall, this is something that you need to pray about... God will show you.... you can't know whether God is telling you to do something if you don't ask Him if He is or not... keep it in prayer

i think you should ;) go ahead

Yeah, the more I dwell on it the more I realize. if I go work at a small little shop instead of a hospital...what trate will I be learning?? If someone needs help right away randomlly, I will be able to call out, "I can alphebetize your bills while someone gets some medical help to you!" or better yet, "i could unlock your car, or lock it up, or sort your money!!!!" Yeah...it seems to make sense all around. Get a clean job, with nice cloths and gain minimal wisdom...or get a harder job, with scrubs, and gain larger wisdom?? It seems so black and white, so why am I still hesitating!?

Growing isn't something that we normally jumped to do. We might want it but our body has an aversion to it. It knows that happens when you have to grow and learn... its usually not a happy camper. Don't let fear wrip away your dreams! As you can I walk down these road... we have to learn to lay hesitation at his feet and jump in with both feet. I'm here for you my dear sister!

Thank you soo much SillyCharis!!!! Your a blessing! I usually dive into everything without thinking, thats why I'm trying to take a moment on this one. Pacing myself I guess, making sure Gods in this. Thank you for your help:)

Please know Aowieu that you aren't doing this a lone. I have to learn that the littlest of hesitation sets me back and slows my pace... if i hesitate enough... ill end up at a dead stop. We can jump together....

Post edited by: sillycharis, at: 2007/02/01 17:35

wow, your right. I totally stop if I allow myself to hesitate. I've basically been on a stop< all week. Just cant get going. like I keep taking a deep breath to dive in...then I let it out and take another...when will I finally just go?! ahh! Your support is a blessing! HUG*!! thank you!