I do believe in God, but I don't know much about the bible or what Christianity is all about. I try to be a good person, but I do get carried away with partying. Being in my twenties, it is hard not to do what friends are doing. My parents never really went to church. My mom prays and she beleives in God, but our family has just never been very religious. At all. I feel so lost lately and I just feel something is missing. I don't really know how to build my relationship with God. I do pray; just about every night, but it feels like, I don't know, taking your daily medicine. I don't feel that I have a strong relationship with God, though. In the past month I have gotten away with a lot. I feel that God has cut me many breaks and I know I probably don't deserve them. Just days ago I was pulled over and had been drinking. I blew over the legal limit and I failed the sobriety tests. I should have gone to jail. I didn't though; the officer let me know how stupid it is to drink and drive and let me call my mom to take me home. I don't know why, but I have a feeling God had something to do with that. I was also just offered a new job. The chances of me getting this job were very slim. It's a very good thing, but I'm nervous about it. I feel grateful for the things and opportunities God gives me. I really am. I just feel I don't show him my thanks like I should. I have so much to be happy about but it seems I focus on the negative. I try not to, but I forget to be grateful for what I have. I know I am just going everywhere with this, it's just how I feel at the moment. I don't have anyone to talk to about things like this. And I know it's terrible, but sometimes I feel embarassed talking about God. But I feel embarassed talking about anything sentimental. Wow I'm sorry this is so random. Maybe just writing it down helps.... any insight or advice would be awesome.

My inbox is open too... My name is Kezia by the way :)