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Let me tell a story.. and ask a question

MaddMatt

15 year(s) ago

Let me tell you a story. I meet with a few teenage boys on a weekly basis. I could go into their different backgrounds, but that is not necessary. They are from several different home lives… Regardless of their upbringing in their home, they all have a very strange perspective on speaking the truth. They have all admitted openly that if an adult asks them a question, that the teen feels is not any of that adult’s business, then it is okay for them to lie. Many times their lies are to protect themselves, as none of them want to own up to their actions and be responsible for their deeds. However, I am not only talking about lying to get out of trouble, I am talking about lying because they feel that they are justified to lie in certain instances because they shouldn’t be asked the questions that they are being asked. Simple questions like: Where are you going and what time will you be home? Which one of your friends are going with you? Will there be parents with you? As a group we were going to the movies a few weeks ago. On the way to pick one of the boys up, one of the other guys called him and told him that we were on our way. The young man in the car told me that the other guy wasn’t allowed to come. I thought that it was strange because only a few hours earlier I had cleared it with his parents. We went to the movies and had a good time. The next time I saw the boy who stayed home, I asked him, “What happened that you weren’t allowed to come to the movies?” He was confused and said, “I was allowed, I just wanted to go to the skate park.” He had told the boy in the car that he was going to the skate park instead of going with the group. I then asked the one who had lied to me why he lied. He simply said, “Oh.. yeah, I guess it was kind of a lie. I don’t know, I guess it was just easier to say that he wasn’t allowed.” Keep in mind that these are a group of guys that will be completely honest with me about their relationships with girls, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc… Yet in something that makes no difference whatsoever, they will lie to me and not even realize it. If he had told me that the boy wanted to go to the skate park, I would have been fine with that, and we would have done nothing different. I have been reading and studying a lot about the postmodern generation. What is interesting is that most sociologists have found that over 90% and usually over 95% of teens openly admit that they lie to authority. What is more intriguing is that they believe that they are justified in their lies. I can come to grips with these numbers… What I can’t seem to grasp is that over 85% of the same teens adamantly stress that they are honest people that can be trusted. I couldn’t believe the research. So I tested in my group. First we all talked about their lying about insignificant things… Then bigger things. Then I asked them, “So you all admit that you lie to adults and friends when you determine that they are not directly effected, and no one will be hurt by you lying. So tell me, would you consider yourself honest people?” They all said, “Yes.” What is up with that?! They all believed that they were honest too. They were not just giving lip service. So my question is, “What has happened to this postmodern generation (12 -25 years old ), that they have completely justified lying as being righteous?” Thanks for listening, -Matt

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