hi everyone. i havent been on in a while, so i dont know whats been going on with everyone. my life's been going crazy. my dad was put in jail and he gets out in october. i want him to come home becuase obviously i miis him, but at the same time i want him to stay there. he's making all these promises about how hes going to make everyone so happy, and i just don'twant anyone to be hurt if he doesnt actually carry them out; my mom believes in him so much, and i cant do much about it. its really crazy. another thing, i have fallen in love. not the little "puupy-fake-love" that everyone likes to think a thirteen-year-old would have, but THE REAL THING. i know for so many reasons it is. im not going to be like, "oh well be together forever" or anything like that because i dont want to get my hopes up or anything. but i really DO love him. we always HAve to say it, it feels like. we cant eat without the ther one around. we can barely BREATHE without eachother. we always want more time than we have, we shout "i love you" everytime we pass eachother when our buses pass. i love him. so i guess youre thinking, "if everything is so perfect, whats the problem?" the problem is this: every person ive ever cared for has hurt me, and i just dont want to get hurt.i dont want to get hurt becuase i trusted someone. my own SISTER, my bestfriend in life, hurt me so badly. she's not saved, and she smokes pot ans drinks and is crazy and shes only 17 years old. it kills me because everytime i think about her all i see is flames wrapping around her and holding her down, and i hear her screaming things like, "you couldve saved me from this" "help me" "its your fault" and i even see my best friends there,too, saying the same things. my dad hurt me, my mom, my sister, my friends. i just dont want my boyfriend (first love) to hurt me too. i dont wana hurt him,either. plus this year were in different schools, but next year we wont be. all these girls that wont leave him alone make it hard for me to be christian because i just want to hurt them. i know its wrong, but its the truth. i really need some brainstorming help here on what to do. seriously becase im also trying to help all my bullied friends without getting into fights, and its hard. please help.