actually, i have two questions for you guys. 1. Do you consider it almost "normal" for a guy to have a girlfriend? Is there something "wrong" or "uncool" about them if they dont? (other than for belief reasons) Why or why not? 2. Do you think that the guys should ask the girls out? Should this just be a "guy thing", or should girls be able to as well?

Post edited by: Llywen, at: 2007/02/15 20:06

First question: It's normal to be single, have a girl friend or even to be married. I'm single and I never had a girlfriend until last summer (shortly after turning 22).. Even then it wasn't much of a relationship - only saw her or went out with her every couple weeks. I do find it kind of pathetic to be single and desperately looking for a girlfriend out of loneliness. Second question: I think it would be awesome for girls to ask guys out.. but it'll never happen. As a guy you know how hard it can be to gather up the courage to ask someone you like out. It's just as hard for girls, if not harder, so my advice on this is to be the man. And girls who may be reading this.. there's nothing wrong with asking a guy out!

Ok, I admit that I am guilty of reading the guy's threads too, so I will post here since you want girls to answer questions for you. Anyways, I will answer question number 1 first. No, I do not think that it is "wrong" or "uncool" if a guy doesn't have a girlfriend. I think that sometimes it can be normal for a guy to have a girlfriend, but it really depends on God's will. As we all should know, God has already picked out the special someone for all of us, so if we don't have a dating partner now, then we can know that God just hasn't led us to that special someone yet. After all, God wants us to have the best possible marriage relationship (we know that dating is for marraige), so we should trust in him to bring us that special someone. So, if you are a guy and you are thinking that you are "uncool" or "weird" 'cause you don't have a girlfriend, then don't feel like that, 'cause I don't think your "weird" or "uncool" for that. You will get that special someone eventually, you just have to be patient. Ok, now i will answer the second question. As far as I am concerned, most girls are very afraid of asking guys out and most (that includes me) won't ask guys out 'cause they are afraid of rejection and possibly ruining the relationship if they are already friends with the guy. I think that guys should definately ask girls out more, since from what I know of, girls are a lot more shy about doing that. I for one would most likely not ask my crush out, 'cause I get very shy about it and let the fear of rejection take over me. If girls have the courage to ask guys out then they should do it, otherwise I think that guys should do it mostly. I hope that i helped you!

I don't usually read the guy's forum but something brought me to it today soo... To the first question: I don't think guys are uncool to not have a girlfriend. I actually think that it means they actually are waiting for the right girl to come along! Some guys go out with just any old girl because they're there. Soooo uncool!!! Guys don't be afraid to say no to a girl that wants to be your girlfriend. If she's not what God wants then follow His plan! To the second question: It is incredibly harder for a girl to ask a guy out! It's true about the whole rejection thing (I'm scared to death to talk to my friend a.k.a. crush! About anything near "I like you"). However it's not that girls are really shy or anthing either. Society is always telling us about the old fashioned boy meets girl, BOY asks girl out thing. We have pressure somtimes coming from our own moms not to ask guys out! I don't know if I'll ever get up that kinda courage ever! All I can say is keep trying guys. Sis in Christ, Corinna:P

even though i made this thread, im gonna post a bit from my perspective and why i asked these questions, just so you know: First ?: I asked this one basically because I dont have a girlfriend. This is not because Im waiting for a special girl in particular or anything. It is because there is not a single girl that likes me lol. I have the pinacle of the saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride." Pretty much every girl ive ever liked have seen me as like a best friend, but none of them have ever liked me. girls ourside of my friends never like me either lol. The only girlfriend ive had I atribute to the fact that she was coming straight off a difficult relationship and was a little i guess vulnerable (I didnt know this until after I had gone out with her for two weeks). Second ?: I asked this one because I literally cannot ask girls out. That girlfriend I mentioned earlier, my friends kicked me off of the computer and asked her out while pretending to be me. I have pretty much no courage in this area. I'll literally psyche myself out completely and just cant do it. I'd much rather the girl ask me out lol, but that'll never happen lol

1. First, no, there is nothing abnormal about being single, or about having a girlfriend (unless you're rather young). I have found I can be happy with or without a formal female attachment, and that a lot of other people can, too. Having girls see you as a best friend isn't necessarily a bad thing. I, for one, would like my girlfriend to be my best friend and not just someone who's there for status or privileges. Maybe (just maybe) some of them would have wanted to pursue the relationship further, but you, as we see in point number 2, did not ask. 2. You said that you "literally cannot ask girls out." If I may be so blunt, this is bullcrap. I know from experience how difficult it is to get up the courage to ask a girl out. It's very hard, especially for someone who's not used to putting his feelings out there. That was me. It was much easier when girls showed interest in me first and did the pursuing. I am convinced, however, that that is not the way it is supposed to be. For all my passiveness, I only ever got relationships that were at best fleeting and empty, and at worst convoluted and potentially devastating. The girl who wants you just might also be the girl who wants to be sought after. As guys, this responsibility falls primarily to us. I'm not saying a girl shouldn't help us out - how else are we to know what the heck we're doing? - but I think it's best for the guy to do the asking, do the initiating. Like I said, I have experienced this difficulty first hand and would not want to go back to it. I'm not trying to minimize your struggle, but it's something you have to overcome. Once you get past 8th grade prom dates, having your friends talk over IM doesn't cut it anymore.

Hi! Gentlemen! :) Alright i usually dont go in here so dont shoot me!! I'm too cute to die! hee hee alright enough nonsense. #1 - I find it respectable actually if a guy hasnt gone out with every girl and her dog. I decided not to date in highschool because i find it sickening of what dating has turned into. Instead of looking for a person to share the rest of your life with it has turned into who is so hot that i can have at my side and makeout with if need be. What attracts me about a guys isnt neccessarily their looks, though true that first connection is kinda important. I look for a man who when i'm around i can just tell he is full of Christ and trust me gentlemen.. Those guys are so worth all the "long" wait. According to the world, mabey, its a little wierd, but its also wierd not to curse, drink, do drugs, or watch porn ect.... And how better is it as christians we are not of this world. #2 - I dont really think i would ever ask a guy out or propose, there are just somethings i think a girl should let the guy do. I mean after all its what a girls dream about when they are little! I have recently graduated higschool keeping my promise of not dating and waiting for a man the lord prepared. Recently god blessed me with my first boyfriend (current :)) we both knew we liked eachother no if's an's or but's about it. And I waited patiently till it was the Lord's timing for him to ask me out. The one big key is making sure you both are on the same page. You both know that your friends or more than just friends. I'll be honest i could tell my boyfriend was so scared at what i would say when he asked me. But You know its the first step you have to take that makes the ride worth while. Are YOU willing to TAKE it?

DH fan, If you like the girl.... you'll be desperate enough to ask her. In fear of losing her mabey. She'll be worth the risk, hun. And if she dosent want to be friends after she may of said no... well thats just jacked up and stupid. I mean i had a friend who wanted to get married this summer and um yeah had my kids named out preety much my whole life. I'm still his friend after preety much saying NO!!!! I honestly thought that I would never be good enough for a guy to actually like. I wasnt looking really when God brought my boyfriend in my life. I just gave it up to him about 3 years ago. I said Lord this is in your hands! and ya know 4 years later God brought an amazing man into my life. Despite perhaps some depression of singleitis.... (made that up i guess) during homecomming, prom, my best friends engagement. Its been worth the wait. Me the girl who was always the friend of the Love intrest finally was blessed with a intrest of her own. That was all God my friend. Give it up to Him. My Daddy will always take care of me and you.

i was a little stupid in saying that i "literally" cant ask girls out cuz i have. I just have a nearly impossible time in mustering up the courage to. My problem is pretty much that I dont like myself so I assume other people aren't going to. Actually, its more that im indifferent towards myself. I dont know why, and Ive prayed about it and stuff and its been getting better.

i think tht its normal for guys to be single and tht it dosnt matter... cuz wen u wanna ask someone out.... u can. i also think tht both can ask the other out it dosnt matter.