okay, to fill you in. When I was about thirteen I got into this relationship with one of my friends. it was all totally innocent, we never kissed, only ever held hands & hugged. but// though it was physically acceptable, I was completely emotionally attached. He was sweet to me and we constantly said "i love you" to each other. So, being a somewhat immature 14 year old, he randomly decided to fall in love with this other girl, totally ignore me and say to my face, "I hate you." [i]Well. I was absolutely devastated.[/i] For the longest time, I dealt with a heavy, empty feeling in my chest. I couldn't get it away and still to this day sometimes when I'm emotionally disappointed the feeling hits me again. Anyway, for roughly a year, "Evan" (no real names included ^.^) ignored me, flirted with every girl he captured the attention of, and.. it hurt. I was a naive, innocent girl and yeah, pretty much everything he did hurt. And now, that its been two years since our silly little heartbreaking relationship he's been acting like nothing happened and we're friends. I think I've forgiven him, but it took forever since he never even had a apologetic attitude. Haha, so lately this really nice, funny, awesome, random guy has been talking to me. (lets call him Peyton :P) I'm not in love, not planning to be for a loooonngg time, but he's a kindred spirit. And Evan pretty much decided he had the right to be protective because, "I don't want anyone to make the same mistake that I did." its... I /think/ his way of apologizing. *shakes head* nice, but sorta annoying when he makes his feelings obvious in front of Peyton. So Evan's got all jealous and today I went over to his families house cuz they were holding an end of school year party, and I hung out at their house longer than everyone else and anytime he had the chance he was leaning on me, putting his arm around me and well, its sounds stupid, but he's a somewhat physical person and yeah. [i]So!, now that I've wasted 3 minutes of your life, I don't know what to do about this![/i] I don't want Evan to... talk to Peyton about things and I don't want Evan to think its okay to.. be sorta all over me in public. But, see, this is where it gets pathetic, Evan is the kind of person who needs consistency in his life. Constant friends help too, and he takes it personally if someone shoves him off and tells him to his face, "Back off." Which, is really what my somewhat evil mind urges me to do. but I don't. I hope I've made this clear and haven't made anyone mad by complaining about nothing, but I really don't know how to handle everything. Prayer is awesome and I'd love to talk to anyone about their crazy teenage girl problems too. love and hugs, Jess P.s. /that/ is my real name ;]

Huh. I don't have much to say other than that boys are really a waste of time for relationships at this age. They really don't know what they want and we (boys and girls at this age) are still learning who we are. My advice? Tell him that he really doesn't own you anymore. He gave up the right to protect you when he hurt you. You can still be friends, but he cannot put you through an emotional roller-coaster. Don't tell him to "back off" in those words, just tell him how you feel when he acts that way. Use the little I-You statements that you probably learned to use. Ex. I feel... when you do this, say this, act this way... God bless.

I agree that you shouldn't tell him to "back off"... well, you shouldn't tell him that just yet. However, he did sort of do that to you. That doesn't make it right for you to be rude and inconsiderate to him, but you do need to realize what type of guy he is. To me (keeping in mind that I'm basing this off of what you wrote) he sounds like one of those guys who gets possessive. That's never good. If a guy is making you uncomfortable in public, sometimes the only way to get him to stop is to say "back off". I understand that he's your friend and you don't want to hurt him (way to be the bigger person! :) ), but if he is making you feel uncomfortable then you shouldn't feel obligated to be around him. You said he needs consistency in his life. That's very understandable. However, the way he played with your heart and moved around from girl to girl suggests that he isn't the most consistent person. And, if after two years, he still feels possessive of you, then maybe it's best if you begin to distance yourself from him. You shouldn't feel obligated to provide him with consistency in his life. It's always good to be kind, considerate, and understanding. However, there are always limits. All this is to say, be compassionate and considerate, but be aware of the situation. If things get out of hand, know that it's perfectly fine to go ahead and say "back off". Don't ever be mean or rude, but you can be assertive if you need to be. I've been in a similar situation. I tried to be real nice to the guy and understand where he was coming from. But ultimately he became so possessive and controlling that it began to get scary. At that point I had to tell him to back off and cease communication with him. Now, this is a last resort. It's always good to try to maintain friendships/positive relationships (as long as they're safe and healthy). But just be aware. I'll pray for ya! Emi

[b]InHisLove wrote:[/b] [quote]My advice? Tell him that he really doesn't own you anymore. He gave up the right to protect you when he hurt you. You can still be friends, but he cannot put you through an emotional roller-coaster. [/quote] okay, makes sense, now I've just gotta do it in person. I think.. most of the time what I need is a little push in the right direction, even if its over the internet. thank you :3

i agree with everyone. but also do u like when he is all over you in public. If you are going to be in a relationship with "Peyton" you need to lay down the law and set boundaries for him. but thats just my opinion :) hope i could help, mandi

aw, no. I'm not planning on being in a relationship for quite a while ;] and, no again, I don't like it when he's all over me in public, its complicated & annoying. My immature girly-ness likes a guy to be like that, but my reasonable side can't stand it.

[b]runningintherain wrote:[/b] [quote]aw, no. I'm not planning on being in a relationship for quite a while ;] and, no again, I don't like it when he's all over me in public, its complicated & annoying. My immature girly-ness likes a guy to be like that, but my reasonable side can't stand it.[/quote] I'm very impressed by you. Very few girls can accept that there is that immature side to them and still be reasonable. Good for you.