It's kind of long but have a read... Here’s a major dilemma: The Bible says we’re supposed to “love one another deeply, from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). Sounds good. But it also says we’re all sinful. It means all of us when it says, “Their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips” (Romans 3:12-13). What? Poison vipers? Yes, that really means what you think it means: people are broken and sinful, and they’ll hurt us. And God still wants us to love them. That doesn’t sound so pleasant. But just wait—it gets even more complicated. God’s Word also says, “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). So how are we supposed to love sinful people? Won’t they corrupt our character? As we think about love, we can be sure that God is the most excellent kind of love. He wants the best for us. He knows us intimately. And He sacrificed His Son for us. So we can trust His words about love. We can also trust that He doesn’t play games with us. So those directions from the Bible that seem to clash—there must be a way that they fit together. Let’s see if we can figure it out. You’ve probably heard that following Jesus means loving the unlovely and the outcast. But what about someone you really feel strong about, like a best friend or a boyfriend? That’s way different from loving outsiders. In some ways it’s easier, because it feels great to love when we’re caught up in exciting emotions. But in other ways, it’s harder to love the people you’re close to than it is to love strangers. That’s because the people we’re closest to are often the ones who hurt us most deeply. Maybe they mean to, maybe they don’t, but parents, siblings, friends and boyfriends can seriously wound us when they sin against us. So how do we love them then? Jesus isn’t surprised when close friends or family members hurt each other. Well, if Jesus knew that those hurtful moments would happen, what did He say to do about them? It’s pretty simple: We’re supposed to talk about it. Get it out in the open. The best way to start is to gently and humbly tell the other person that she hurt you. That requires a level of honesty that’s a bit too deep for most relationships. But remember, God’s model of love is the best. So stick your neck out and deal with those difficult situations. renew The follow-up to gentle confrontation is forgiveness. When the friend who hurt you asks for forgiveness, you need to freely give it and not hold her sin over her head. What about when you’re the one who sins and hurts someone else? You might be tempted to deny it, cover it up or explain it away, but the best thing you can do is to claim it. Be honest and say, “I really blew it. I hurt you. Will you forgive me?” After all, James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to each other. This is the best way to keep junk from piling up and ruining a relationship. So what about that bad-character thing? How do you know when a girlfriend or a crush is a normal old sinful person like you and when he or she is bad company that will pull you down? There’s not a specific formula for figuring it out, but there are some signs to watch for. First of all, when that person messes up, does he follow the God-wisdom we’ve talked about? Does he admit that he’s failed and ask for forgiveness? Does she forgive you when you ask? Those are good signs that your amigo is dealing with sin in a godly way. If you’re hanging out with someone who makes excuses for her failures or who promises to change but never acts on it, chances are you’ve got bad company. Either way, you’re still called to love that person. But loving someone who’s a bad influence doesn’t mean sharing the intimate parts of your life with her. It means being kind when you pass in the halls. It means not gossiping. Those are loving things you can do without getting pulled down by a bad influence. And for those friends who are just broken people striving to serve God, loving them means going all out: Dig in. Spend time together. Serve each other. Share your lives. Yes, you’ll probably get hurt. Love always means taking a risk. But since it’s a risk God tells us to take, we can be sure it’s worth it!