ok to start with my dad has the worst temper ever and he sparks easy hes always mad and he just got back from over seas so i have to be nice and hes always mean and mad (i was minorly physically abused when i was younger but i stood up for myself and hit back and stopped him til i could get out of the house) but back to what i was sayin when he yells should i yell back and put up with the consequences or just ignore him or what im ssoo confused and hes startin to notice my absence (cuz i tend to just get up and leave the house and go to the trailer and stay for hours) idk wat to do!

Well, the answer to your question: Don't yell back. The Bible tells us to Honor our parents and elders. That's the exact opposite of honor. Now, is there someone else you can talk to about it? Maybe your mother? Or maybe even him? Maybe if he realizes how he's really upsetting you, he'll start to be more careful in his actions. Explain how upset and hurt you are, and maybe thing's will get better. And last but absolutely not least- Pray. Ask God to help your father control his temper. Just a note I wanted to add in- A thought I had while typing this: You said he just got back from overseas. Consider what he's been through. Think about the things he's seen. Try to imagine yourself in that situation. I have heard my grandfathers talk (very, VERY little) about what they saw in Vietnam when they went. It's just scary. I know that if I had seen that, it would probably make my temper and actions change ever so slightly. I'm not saying that's a good excuse for him to be yelling all the time, but still, have sympathy. Be patient. I'm sure he's been through a lot.

well i know hes been through alot but he like chickened out right when everything in our family started to crumble he decided that its his duty to go over seas even though hes been a million times before i have prayed and i obey him but he seems to have no heart he thinks his credit card can fix everything

It is not a military man's choice "when" he goes over seas. He is told, and being that his body is owned by the US government, he HAS to go. Even though it feels like abandoning you, it is not. It's doing something EXTREMELY brave to ensure that you are able to live life the way that you do right now. Yelling back at him will literally get you no where but in a world of hurt. Being a military man, he is taught that orders are obeyed IMMEDIATELY with no question. That is what he is taught to do, and it can be frustrating to come back to a world of free thought and action. The military is trained by being first and foremost broken down until there is nothing left. You are treated like a grub until you proove yourself higher than that. So, his training and very short temper may be from this. Not only that he himself was broken, but that breaking someone works. My mother went through the same thing that you have been. Her father fought MANY times in Vietnam, and each time came back meaner and harder. He even threatened to kill her pets when their cages weren't up to his inspection standards. The best thing you can do is be supportive of your family. If you have to, stay out of your dad's path. Talk to your mom about how to deal with it too, as she deals with this much more than you, i promise. After all, she IS married to the man. I bet she can give you a lot of good adivce about it, and can offer a lot of comfort. Mothers see what their children need, and if love and security is it, she'll offer that place for you.