Guys, I am writing this now as things have come to the point where I have to get this out in the open and off my chest, as I feel like I am going to explode mentally and emotionally if I don't say anything and keep it to myself. I don't know where I really should begin, however I guess I would have to say that it started while I was still living at home under my parent's roof. My father and I didn't have the father/son relationship that I am assuming a lot of you have had. He was always working and providing for us, however him and I never had any of those quality times alone of just the two of us doing things together like fishing, hunting, taking in a sporting event, camping, etc. We never had any "one-on-one" talks either. You could say that because of it, I've never had the occasion to really bond with another guy and I really envy those guys that have had the opportunity to do so with other guys that count them as their closest friends. Now what I am about to say, and please, don't get me wrong either, as I am physically attracted to other men, however, I DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT even think about it as I am totally grossed out and repulsed by the thought of sex with a guy like homosexuals do. There are ways guys can be physically intimate without the aforementioned. Yes, I consider myself to be bi and attracted more towards men, but when it comes to sex, that would be only with a woman in marriage. (Check the website http://www.g0ys.org/ that's "g0ys" spelled with a ZERO and not with an "A" for further information) I feel that I have blown that chance and am too set in my ways for the possibility of marriage to happen in the future, being in my late 40's and no woman is going to want to marry a man who can't perform and give her children, so I feel like a failure in that regard. I'll never give my parents the joy of more grandchildren and more than likely the family name is going to die with me, being the last male to carry on the family name, so I have failed in that respect. No, I am not in an actual relationship with another guy as I write this, and haven't been in one either. I'm just lonely and feel isolated because of what I've said thus far. I'm not good at the social skills needed to make friends and for the last several years, most of my friends have been those that I've made via the internet, and have actually only met three of them so far in real life. Those three friends don't know what I'm feeling as I haven't told them yet. I don't want them to think, when I do finally tell them, that I am NOT hitting on them either. I just don't know what I'm going to say when that time comes. According to the Kinsey study, almost 2/3rds of guys are attracted to other guys at one time or another, so that means a good majority of us really can't deny that fact, but it happens. I know, I can hear it now, some of you are probably going to laugh. So be it if you do. I'll probably end up getting banned for having posted this, but I feel that I have to do so. Signing out for now and heading to bed to cry myself to sleep as I'm a failure. Goodnight. socks1

well man all I can tell you is what the bible says 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Romans 1:26-28 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. you said something about not wanting to have sex with them but your attracted to them. I don't know if you ever heard the song slow fade by Casting Crowns but sins dont start big for instinse someone who is addicted to cigerettes didn't start out with smoking a pack a day or someone who is addicted to porn didn't start out not being able to control himself. God made us to have attractions to women and if your a christian you have the Holy Spirit who can give you the power to overcome this sin or any sin well man Praying for you God Bless jeremy

I knew someone was going to bring those verses up. I didn't make myself clear enough then in my OP. I said that the idea of the kind of sex that homosexuals have, grosses me out and I won't do that. Where in the Bible does it say that we can't do things like putting our arms on one another's shoulders or give hugs? I don't think those would be considered to be a sin to show that kind of affection. I believe that in some cultures that is considered to be normal and commonplace among straight guys. In fact, I believe it is done in the cultures of central and south America, if I remember right. I've seen pictures on the internet elsewhere of guys in the military, yes, even the US military where they have their arms on the shoulders of their buddies, or entire groups of men doing the same thing in a circle. Is that wrong? I would think not. Yet a lot of people here in the US would say that's "gay" and get all upset about it.

There's nothing wrong with hugging members of the same gender or, in some cultures, kissing them. I'm really confused about this attraction you describe. It sounds almost like a normal attraction, in that you want guys as friends and nothing more...yet you're ultra concerned about this.

I guess it would have to be that I have observed it happening in public between women and nothing is thought of it when it does happen, but if two men do so, the first thing assumed by other people automatically is that the guys are gay. I guess people just jump to conclusions without knowing the facts first. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive about it and shouldn't have mentioned it.

[b]socks1 wrote:[/b] [quote]I guess it would have to be that I have observed it happening in public between women and nothing is thought of it when it does happen, but if two men do so, the first thing assumed by other people automatically is that the guys are gay. I guess people just jump to conclusions without knowing the facts first. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive about it and shouldn't have mentioned it.[/quote] Hey man, I know I, for one, have hugged just about every male friend i know. :)

I have several guy friends that if I saw them in the mall today, or wherever I was at, I would give them a full embrace. I am not gay or bi, but I believe that a manly hug between two guys is definitely okay. I do think you need some female companionship. I also think you could use a few good men in your life that are not too insecure to give a hug.

when I read I guess I missed understood what he said but I didn't say it to be judgemental but I stand behind what I said, he is a brother in Christ and we are sapose to help each other. sorry for the miss understanding God Bless Jeremy

Like some have said, it seems unclear whether this is really homosexual desire or more of a longing for close male relationships (friends.) Not knowing will probably only make it harder, so my advice would be to go out and date/meet new women, men. You sound like you are lonely, and need someone, male or female, sexually or not, to be there for you.