I have just recentally(Last Wednseday) started dating this guy I've known in school for years. He seems pretty cool and I like him , but he is scaring me. He is already talking about MARRIAGE, CHILDERN,and IF THIS IS GOING TO BE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. I was not ready for thease questions right off. I know he's been with his last girlfriend and they broke up a few days before we went out. They were ingaged and that ended because his mother didn't approve of that girl. Ontop of all my worries, his ex is trying to come between are already somewhat uneasy relationship and make it worse. She has threatend me and said terrible names and things about me to my face. I don't know how to handle this ? I worry about my boyfriend trying to sleep with me cause he keep telling me to go off with him to friends houses to watch movies. He trys to come over to my house when noone is home. Not to mention he trys to get me to come over to his HOUSE when noones home. I don't want to do anything perminate with him like that! I want to save myself for my husband. I feel alot of worry that I maynot be able to say no if the situation comes about though. I have no self estem and am struggling with selfworth. I don't feel the love and attention from my dad , he doesn't try to show me it at all. I'm afriad I'll mistake sex for love. I know the difference , but I'm affriad I won't be able to say no. I know my boyfriend may try, he's already told me he loves me. I don't love him though , I'm just looking for a casual relationship. I haven't had good relationships in the past. Not to mention I've had sexual harrassment done towards me by a guy in my youth group. I'm just so upset and confused why people like this keep coming into my life. I really would like some help.

I think that you need to take a break with this relationship or end it. This guy is moving way to fast and anyone that is pushing you to give you him your virginitiy isn't worth it. He should be helping you to save yourself not causing you to struggle with it. Do you have a good relationship with your mom? If you don't then you need find someone that you can talk to and help hold you accountable and to support you through everything. Also I don't think that casual dating is a good idea, if you aren't planning to get married to the person then you're just giving parts of yourself away to someone that in 15 years you may not even know. I will be praying for you about this.

Post edited by: Emmy89, at: 2006/10/03 16:54

I agree with Emmy. It sounds like this guy is rebounding hard, especially since it was an engagement from which he just broke up. He's being too demanding, pushy, and inconsiderate. Drop him. He's obviously not what you're looking for, so why waste time on him? I also agree with Emmy about casual dating, though. If you're not ready for a serious relationship, I [i]strongly[/i] advise that you wait to date until you are ready for a serious relationship. Just make friendships for now with guys and girls, and enjoy those.

I agree with strata and emmy. This guy does not sound worth your time and staying with him would most likely result in things (like pre-marital sex) later on. You need to dump him right away!

Post edited by: HopewellSaint, at: 2006/10/04 07:32

I agree with strata and emmy too. This guy seems to want to move WAY to fast. I would take a break from the relationship or end it. A guy you date should not try to force you to go places where there in no one around...he is probably in it for the wrong reasons. I don't think casual dating is a good thing, especially if you are dating him to get to know him better.