A year and a half ago I met this guy. I haven't had much experience with guys and what little I have had has been bad. I wasn't deterred, but I was cautious, and then, there he was, this guy was really...kind, and patient, and understanding. He was very nurturing and caring. That was exactly what I needed right then, or at least that's what I told myself. Ignoring the fact that he wasn't a Christian, when I am, I asked him out. He agreed and over the next year the two of us really grew and changed one another. He got even better. We helped each other with some issues. I'm not trying to raise a topic about being unequally yoked or anything. It's just that over time I got tired of having to close my bible when he came over to my house, or turn off my christian music when he got in the car. I got tired of seeing him after church and dying to share something wonderful with him and not being able to. He was the most important person in my life, but God was- is- more important to me, and I couldn't share Him with my boyfriend, he just had too many walls up against God. It got harder and harder, me pouring my heart out into a relationship that could never have lasted. The longer we stayed together, the closer we got, and even in the midst of that, we both felt the impending doom looming in front of us. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I prayed, I begged, I pleaded. Sometimes I didn't even know what I was asking for. I got my answer, and I followed the intructions. I broke up with him. It's been a month now. I still feel a sense of relief, but it still hurts. I want to call him, I want to Instant Message him, I want to see him and know he's okay and...I don't know what else. I didn't realize how much nurturing I got from him until after I had already broken up with him, but I know that if we get back together it would just be the same deal. I know somewhere in me that I did the right thing. I think I just need to hear it, or whatever anybody else thinks. I guess I just need some validation. Anyone?

Post edited by: Abbazgirl22, at: 2006/09/22 00:36

You did do the right thing. He may be an awesome guy and, who knows, he may even be "the one" for you, but not right now. The best thing you can do is pray for his salvation. When you guys were together did you share your faith with him? Is he resistant? or does he practice another religion? or what? God has the perfect mate for you and He is preparing that person for you as we speak. If this guy isn't meant to be, rest assured there will be a great Christian guy out there will all of those quailities you love - just be patient and trust God.

*gives u lots of cookies* you did fantastic!... It's a hard call to make but it was the right one

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING:cheer:....it must've been really hard...I'll be praying for you...

Good job! I'm proud of you. Like the other girls have said, that must have been so difficult. I'll be praying for you and also for his salvation.

I feel your pain... except I'm on the other end of what you are experiencing... its more of i'm where you boyfriend is at.. and maybe sharing what i felt in having a relationship end evening though we both still wanted it feels from both ends. He will always be my first true love, the 1 person i really opened up to. We understood eachother... we knew eachother so well. We were cute and sweet and we knew when we could banter with the other. We talked about the future and marriage and kids and where to live. the whole nine yards. It wasn't something that was going to happen immedately but after we graduated college we would.. His mom didn't want us together ..she said i was too independant.. livin on my own..my own place... my own car... a good job in corporate america... she he ended it because he was being lawful and obey his father and mother... I was utterly torn apart... hurt by what happened..but at the same time respected him for holding true and being obediant... Now i wont call him and i want email him.... I tooo wonder how he is doing and pray that he is okay... We were bestfriends and its really difficult to one day have your best friend involved in almost every aspect of your life.. but then the next day... their completely gone from your life... Find comfort in knowing .. he prolly still cares about you.. as i do for the guy who dumped me... and maybe this lets me see that it wasn't because my ex didn't love me and care about me...but maybe we both weren't where we should be to be together... and i think that was the point in our break... if we would focus on god and let him handle us and use us to be who he has called us to be we could have been great.... but we weren't there yet....

To answer your question, he considered himself a deist. He believes that God created the world and then just sat back to watch it go, that having a personal relationship with God is pointless. He was very, very stubborn in this. I think he was actually afraid of the idea of an active God. Thanks everyone for the replies. It did help. I appreciate it.

I've been in a very similar situation before. I dated my first boyfriend for almost two years (just one month and one day from being two years.) and we had to break up because of religion. We actually broke up four different times. The first and second time it was because of religion. But then things got better and we stayed together for a long time after that, then we broke up cause I was scared to let him get any closer to me (he wanted to propose) cause I have major trust issues. Then we started dating, non-exclusively, and then when he went on a family vacation this past summer everything changed. He called me a few days before my birthday and told me it was over. Forever. The thing was. He was raised Mormon. I started dating him when he was still Mormon, but I figured I wouldnt fall for him cause he was my first boyfriend and I always promised myself I wouldnt fall for the first guy that came along. Big no no. But after the second breakup we got back together cause he started going to my church more, and meeting with my Elders (I'm Presbyterian) and attending membership meetings, and he stoped going to his church, and told his Bishop that he was denouncing Mormonism. Then when he went on this family vacation, he turned back to Mormonism. He said that everywhere he looked kids his age were messed up and struggling and it seemed only the LDS kids were on top of things. So he droped a birthday present off at my house. It was a pendant and a book of Mormon. Thats when I knew that I really had lost him. I destroyed the book. I couldnt even bear to look at it. Here's the deal. I'll always love him. Really and truly. Every guy I've met since then, I've compaired with him. I've been like "no, he's not as sweet, or as caring, or as cute." seriously. Cause my ex was a fantastic guy. He had all the qualitys I was (and still am!) looking for. The only thing lacking was religion. Abbazgirl, I know everyone has already told you that you did the right thing, and deep down, I know you did. Cause we're in the same boat darling. But I will warn you, its going to get hard. Wanting to call him and talk to him and see him. Just wanting to hear his voice. Or if you smell the cologne he wore. You'll probably break down every now and then, and may even dial his number (heck, it happend to me last night!) Things will remind you of what you and your boy were. And you've gotta just lean on God and your family and friends. Be strong. Know that you're not alone here. I'll be praying for you. As well as him. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me.

You did the right thing! Way to go!

i know how you feel. you did the right thing it hurts now but if you waited longer it wold have hurt more. i'll pray for you and this guy! ;)